Righteousness & You

Posted on February 11, 2010 by russellmckinney

“The Beatitudes” series: (post #4)

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled.” (Matthew 5:6, N.K.J.V.)

With the fourth Beatitude from Matthew’s account of The Sermon on the Mount, we come to another difference between Matthew’s version of the sermon and Luke’s version of it. Matthew lists “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness” as being Beatitude #4, while Luke’s account puts “Blessed are you who hunger now…” as being Beatitude #2. As for the reward promised in both versions, it is the same in that the believer will be filled.

As I explained in my post about that first Beatitude, the simple explanation for any and all differences between Matthew’s version of The Sermon on the Mount and Luke’s version of it is that Jesus preached the sermon (or parts of it) on at least two separate occasions in different settings to different audiences. Evidently, He preached the Matthew version exclusively to His disciples while He was sitting atop a mountain, and He preached the Luke version to not only those same disciples but also to a great multitude of people while He was standing on a level site. And since many individuals in that great multitude were no doubt literally poor (Luke’s Beatitude #1), literally hungry (Luke’s Beatitude #2), and well acquainted with crying literal tears (Luke’s Beatitude #3), it would have made sense for Jesus to speak directly to those needs.

However, for the purposes of this entire series and this specific post, I’m sticking primarily with the Matthew version of the sermon because it offers the most Beatitudes. So, with this in mind, I’m going to build this post around Christ’s words, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness…” (N.K.J.V., emphasis mine). That’s why I’ve entitled the post “Righteousness & You.”

I’ve been a pastor a long time, long enough to have learned some things about professing Christians. One thing I’ve learned is that not many of them hunger and thirst for righteousness. How rare are such Christians? They are so rare that when you do come across one, you are actually taken aback by how much he or she stands out from the crowd. Your reaction is, “Wow, now that’s the way this Christianity thing is supposed to work. That’s the kind of person it’s rumored to produce.”

I take no pleasure in reporting that a high percentage of professing Christians are only interested in living righteously enough to keep God from getting too ticked off at them. The time they spend in prayer is minimal. Their Bible study is barely a blip on the radar. They attend church only if all the planets align and the creeks don’t rise. They give sparingly, even begrudgingly (2 Corinthians 9:6-7) of their finances. They’ve never witnessed to anyone.

Even the professing Christians who do better in some of these areas typically fall short when it comes to thoroughly repenting of sins and making needed changes in their lives. I’ve known professing Christians who were at church every time the doors were open, but they were petty, bitter people who refused to forgive any perceived slight. I’ve known others who made prayer a vital part of their lives but didn’t mind engaging in premarital sex or “shacking up.” Others would give some money to the church but spend even more on alcohol or drugs. To all of these people, the idea of hungering and thirsting for righteousness was foreign. They had just enough religion to keep them at peace with themselves and certainly didn’t have a burning desire for anything more.

Imagine that a man who hasn’t eaten for two days gets the opportunity to sit down at a buffet filled with delicious food. The way that man’s eyes dance over that food is the way the Christian’s eyes should dance over righteousness. The way that man craves that food is the way the Christian should crave righteousness.

Or imagine a woman who has been stranded in the desert for hours. When she is rescued, a rescue worker hands her a bottle of water. At that moment, there is nothing on earth she wants more than that water. That’s how the Christian should thirst for righteousness.

Christian, when you are obsessively hungering and thirsting for righteousness — when righteousness is what you are chasing in life — you won’t have to be goaded into attending church. You won’t have to be begged to pray. Your pastor won’t have to chide you into Bible study. It won’t take a ten-sermon series on stewardship to get you to give generously. You won’t have to be coerced into telling others about Jesus. All of that will come as naturally to you as breathing. It will flow effortlessly out of your hungering and thirsting for righteousness. 1 John 2:29 describes this as “practicing” righteousness:

If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone who practices righteousness is born of Him (1 John 5:1; John 3:1-8, N.K.J.V.).

Furthermore, in the fourth of the Beatitudes, Jesus promises that your pursuit of righteousness will not be in vain. He says you shall be filled. I see a two-fold meaning in this promise. First, it only makes sense that the more you devote your life to righteousness, the more righteousness will be exhibited in your life. Second, in regards to your eternal standing with God, the moment you realize your life is stained by unrighteousness and you place saving belief in Jesus, God actually imparts His spotless righteousness to you (Romans 1:16-17; 3:21-26; Philippians 3:7-9). That is an even more important filling.

So, Christian, how hungry are you? How thirsty are you? Are you burdened enough about your level of righteousness to do some repenting? Will you commit to practicing more righteousness in your daily life? When you get hungry and thirsty enough to actually make some changes in how you conduct yourself, you’ll find Jesus standing ready to help you. He’ll be right there with a never-ending buffet and a bottomless well. But you’ll never get to enjoy the blessings of that buffet or that well as long as you are satisfied with the amount of righteousness you currently have.

Posted in Alcohol, Backsliding, Belief, Bible Study, Change, Church Attendance, Confession, Discipleship, Doing Good, Drugs, Evangelism, Giving, Money, Obedience, Personal Holiness, Rebellion, Righteousness, Salvation, Sanctification, Series: "The Beatitudes", Stewardship, The Sermon On The Mount, Witnessing | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The True Meaning of Meekness

Posted on February 10, 2010 by russellmckinney

“The Beatitudes” series: (post #3)

“Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5, N.K.J.V.)

The word “Beatitude” is not found anywhere in the Bible, but we use the word in reference to each of the instances where the Bible says “Blessed is…” or “Blessed are…” The word comes from beatus, the Latin word for “blessed.” While Beatitudes can be found in both the Old Testament and the New Testament, far and away the most famous list is the one that begins Christ’s Sermon on the Mount.

The Greek word for “blessed” is makarios, a word that carries multiple shades of meaning. It can mean happy, fortunate, to be envied, satisfied, joyful, or spiritually prosperous. Needless to say, the word packs quite a punch. To be “blessed” in this way is no small thing!

Of all the Beatitudes, the one that has probably been the most misunderstood is: “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” The problem has always stemmed from the false notion that meekness equates to weakness. The fact is, nothing could be further from the truth.

Numbers 12:3 says:

Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth. (K.J.V.)

If you think Moses was a ninety-pound weakling who couldn’t take care of himself, you really need to read Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. Moses was a man’s man. He was an outdoorsmen who had a hot temper and could singlehandedly kill an Egyptian.

In addition to Moses being described as meek, would you believe that Jesus described Himself in this same way? In Matthew 11:29, He says:

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls. (K.J.V.)

This was Jesus, who spent forty days and nights fasting in the Judean wilderness. This was Jesus, who oftentimes slept on the ground. This was Jesus, who lived through a brutal Roman scourging. The idea of Him being weak is preposterous.

In light of Moses and Jesus, it is obvious that meekness means something other than weakness. But what does it mean? It means strength under control. The Greek word translated as “meek” is praus. It’s a word the Greeks used to describe a horse that had been broken. The horse was far from weak, but its strength had been brought under the control of a rider. Transferring this illustration to the life of the Christian, meekness equates to being broken of one’s self-will and being submitted to the Lordship of Jesus.

You see, Jesus wasn’t calling His followers to lay aside their strength and become milquetoast peons. No, He wanted them to be strong, especially in terms of spiritual might. But He challenged them to bring their strength under His control. Just as a rider can’t use a horse that hasn’t been broken, Jesus can’t do much with a person whose strength isn’t under His control.

Jesus did, however, promise an awesome reward for the Christian who lives his or her life this way. The world is still awaiting the fulfillment of this promise, but that fulfillment will occur when Jesus returns to this earth (Revelation 19:11-21) and establishes His 1,000-year kingdom upon it (Revelation 20:1-4). At that time, Christians will indeed inherit the earth and reign over it with Jesus as His bride (Revelation 2:26-27; 5:8-10; 19:6-9).

I feel safe in saying that those who literally heard Jesus make that promise didn’t truly grasp the ultimate meaning of it. That meaning was just too far off in the future. That isn’t to say, though, that they didn’t like the sounds of it. Could there really be a time when Christ’s followers would inherit the earth? Could there really be a time when the Romans wouldn’t rule the known world? Who else but Jesus would have preached such a radical idea in the midst of that culture? And who else but Him would have the power to one day make it a reality?

Posted in Brokenness, Christ's Second Coming, Dying To Self, Obedience, Prophecy, Reward, Series: "The Beatitudes", Submission, The Sermon On The Mount | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Those Who Mourn

Posted on February 8, 2010 by russellmckinney

“The Beatitudes” series: (post #2)

“Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4, N.K.J.V.)

The Greek word for “mourn” in this verse is pentheo. It’s a word that specifically refers to the strongest, most intensive kind of mourning. In the Septuagint (the Greek version of the Old Testament) this same word is used to describe Jacob’s grief when he thought his beloved son, Joseph, was dead (Genesis 37:34).

Okay, so how can anyone who is doing such mourning be blessed? The average commentator’s explanation is to make the mourning a mourning over one’s sins. In other words, the person who is under extreme conviction over his sinful condition, to the point of experiencing this type of gut-wrenching mourning, will find forgiveness and comfort by placing saving belief in Jesus.

However, even though this is certainly a doctrinally sound interpretation, I can’t help but wonder if we should be so quick to explain away the literalness of Christ’s words. Would His disciples really have understood the mourning to be mourning over one’s sins? I doubt it.

That’s why I lean toward thinking that Jesus was emphasizing that He was the answer for death. Mourning does typically walk hand in hand with death, doesn’t it? So, maybe Jesus was saying, “I am now on the scene, and through Me the greatest comfort can potentially be provided for those who are mourning the loss of loved ones.”

As I mentioned in the previous post, the New Testament gives us two versions of the Sermon on the Mount, indicating that Jesus preached the sermon (or parts of it) on at least two occasions in different settings to different audiences. Interestingly, in the Luke version, Jesus doesn’t say anything about those who mourn. Instead, He says:

“…Blessed are you who weep now, For you shall laugh.” (Luke 6:21, N.K.J.V.)

Of course, just as mourning walks hand in hand with death, weeping walks hand in hand with mourning. Therefore, it isn’t hard to see the close similarity between “Blessed are those who mourn” and “Blessed are you who weep now.” As for the fact that Jesus got more individually specific in the Luke version by using the word “you,” that might just have been a case of Him tailoring the sermon to fit that day’s audience.

In Revelation 1:18, Jesus says, “I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and Death” (N.K.J.V.). Since Hades was the Greek word for the general realm of the dead both for saved believers and lost unbelievers, Jesus was pointing out that He has complete charge over the afterlife. That means that if a person knew Him as Savior in life, that relationship continues in death. As Paul wrote to the Christians of Corinth:

For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens…So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord…We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:1,6,8, N.K.J.V.)

Speaking for myself, it brings me great comfort to know that the souls of my loved ones who died in Christ went to heaven to be with Him. For them, death was a promotion and a call home. Rather than mourn a Christian’s passing, we should celebrate it. As Paul said in another passage:

For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. (Philippians 1:21-23, N.K.J.V.)

I’ve preached more funerals than I can remember, and in each one I tried to bring some comfort to the family. I have to say, though, that the greatest comfort I ever gave any family came from assuring them that the soul of their Christian loved one was with the Lord in heaven. Such funerals preach themselves. And it is because of these experiences that I can say with certainty that Jesus really does provide comfort for the blessed (the saved) who mourn the deaths of their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, even if that mourning manifests itself by way of intense weeping.

Posted in Comfort, Death, Eternity, Family, Heaven, Pastors, Personal, Salvation, Series: "The Beatitudes", The Sermon On The Mount | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

The Poor in Spirit

Posted on February 5, 2010 by russellmckinney

“The Beatitudes” series: (post #1)

And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him. Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:1-3, N.K.J.V.)

Christ’s most famous sermon is the one we call The Sermon on the Mount. That word “Mount” comes from the fact that Jesus was on a mountain when He gave this teaching to His disciples (Matthew 5:1). It seems clear, though, that He preached either the entire sermon or selected parts of it at least twice. I say this because Luke 6:17-49 gives us the record of a shortened version of the sermon, a version Jesus preached “on a level place” (N.K.J.V.) or “a plain” (K.J.V.) with not only His disciples in attendance but also a great multitude of people.

Furthermore, there are slight differences in the two accounts of the sermon. In the Matthew version, Jesus promises the kingdom “of heaven,” but in the Luke account He promises the kingdom “of God.” While it’s true that both descriptions refer to the same kingdom (compare Matthew 5:19-20 with Matthew 6:33), it’s also true that the word “heaven” brings a different image to mind than the word “God.”

Another example of certain differences in the accounts is found in the sermon’s opening. Whereas the Matthew version quotes Jesus as saying, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (N.K.J.V.), the Luke version omits the words “in spirit” and cites the quote as, “Blessed are you poor, For yours is the kingdom of God” (N.K.J.V.). It is from the word “Blessed” that we get the word “Beatitude,” which refers to a state of blessedness.

Evidently, Jesus changed the wording of the first Beatitude in order to accommodate the two different audiences for the two occasions He preached this sermon. Up on the mountain, it was just Him and His disciples in attendance. Down on the level place, they were joined by “…a great multitude of people from all Judea and Jerusalem, and from the seacoast of Tyre and Sidon” (Luke 6:17, N.K.J.V.).

And why had that multitude sought out Jesus? They had come “…to hear Him and be healed of their diseases, as well as those who were tormented with unclean spirits” (Luke 6:17-18, N.K.J.V.). It isn’t hard to understand that people who were either diseased or demon possessed were poor. Just as diseased people had trouble holding steady jobs and had to spend large amounts of money on doctors (Luke 8:43-44), demon possession could also take a major toll on a person’s finances.

Of course, the fact that Jesus would say to a crowd of such people, “Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God” offers us a glimpse into why He was so popular with the common people. In large part, the Jewish people still lived under the Old Testament mindset that wealth was evidence of the blessing and favor of God. Poverty, therefore, was considered akin to being under God’s judgment, disfavor, or curse. Jesus, though, was a teacher who flipped that mindset completely on its head. According to Him, the kingdom of God belonged to the poor rather than the rich. That was mind-blowing news if you were a poor person in that culture!

Even before preaching the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus had preached a sermon at Nazareth in which He had referenced Isaiah 61:1-2 in saying, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor” (Luke 4:18, N.K.J.V., emphasis mine). Later, He would have word sent to the imprisoned John the Baptist, telling John, “…the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them” (Luke 7:22, N.K.J.V., emphasis mine). Clearly, Jesus wanted poor people to realize that the kingdom of God wasn’t just for the rich.

Still, we must understand that the Sermon on the Mount is not the gospel. No one goes to heaven just because he or she is monetarily poor. One must be spiritually born again by believing in Jesus as Savior and thereby becoming indwelt by God the Holy Spirit (John 3:1-18, Romans 3:10-26). Even those who were in attendance to hear Jesus preach were not saved simply by virtue of their poverty. No, they had to place saving belief in Him as Savior.

To apply this first Beatitude correctly to yourself, think of being “poor in spirit” as being a deliberate choice you make rather than being a natural personality trait you either innately have or don’t have. To be “poor in spirit” is to walk in a constant realization of your utter spiritual helplessness without God. It is to abandon any and all attempts at creating self-righteousness for yourself and throw yourself completely upon the divine righteousness (Titus 2:5-6, Ephesians 2:8-9) God imputes to the one who places saving belief in Jesus (Romans 4:1-8; Galatians 3:6-9). It is to truly grasp the teaching of Isaiah 64:6 — that all your supposed works of righteousness are, in reality, like “filthy rags” in the sight of an infinitely holy God.

Furthermore, to be “poor in spirit” is to be humble in nature. It is to approach God as a lowly servant (Matthew 8:5-8), a respectful child (Matthew 18:4), or even a pitiful beggar (Matthew 15:21-28). The person who struts toward God and thinks, “He’s lucky to get me” isn’t “poor in spirit.” Neither is the person who says, “I’m going to allow God into my life, but I’ll be bringing as much to the relationship as He does.” The Greek word translated as “poor” is ptochos and it refers to abject poverty. The one who is this “poor in spirit” knows that he brings nothing to God because, frankly, he doesn’t have anything to bring.

So, tell me, is this you? Do you think of yourself as such a spiritual beggar? Or do you pull back from having such a degrading opinion of yourself? Since Jesus (God the Son) thought you were valuable enough to die for in payment for your sins, it’s obvious that God places immeasurable value upon you. But with that understood, He expects you to see yourself as nothing in comparison to Him.

You see, God doesn’t necessarily want you to be monetarily poor as you live upon this earth — even though He doesn’t promise that you will be rich, either — but He does want you to be “poor in spirit.” This will allow you to have the attitude that will make it easy for you to not only experience salvation by believing in Jesus but also to look to Him each day to meet all your needs. That is, after all, what beggars do. They look to someone else to take care of them. And Jesus will be that person to you in regards to not only your eternal existence but also your earthly one if you will allow Him to be.

Posted in Attitude, Belief, Brokenness, Depravity, God's Holiness, Humility, Needs, Pride, Salvation, Series: "The Beatitudes", The Sermon On The Mount, Trusting In God | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Will God Meet My Need?

Posted on February 2, 2010 by russellmckinney

In the mid-19th century, poverty characterized the people of the northeast Highlands of Scotland. During those days a man named John Murray was praying for guidance by a riverside. Many of his neighbors were immigrating to America, and he was wondering if he should join them. As he was praying, he heard a loud thud on the grass behind him. A salmon had leaped right out of the water and was lying there for him! Murray took it as an answer that the Lord could provide for him in Scotland.

Philippians 4:19 says: “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (N.K.J.V.). This verse is very well known, for good reason. However, I would like to point out one important fact about the verse’s application.

That fact is: The verse was written by a Christian (the apostle Paul) to other Christians (the Christians of Philippi). You see, it’s not just anyone who can rightly say, “God has promised to supply all my need according to His riches in glory.” Technically, God isn’t obligated to provide for those who do not know Jesus as Savior. Pay careful attention to the closing words of the verse: “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

I’m not saying that God won’t supply the need of a lost person. The truth is, He typically does supply those needs. As Jesus said, “He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45, N.K.J.V.). I’m simply pointing out the vast difference between knowing God as one’s heavenly Father and merely knowing Him as “the man upstairs.”

When our two sons were little fellows, Tonya and I used to frequently take them shopping with us. With that scene in mind, imagine us all inside a shopping mall one afternoon. It’s 6:00 p.m. and the boys haven’t had supper. They look at me and say, “Dad, we’re hungry.” At that point, a trip to the mall’s food court will be in order because I’m the father of those two boys and that means I’m obligated to provide for their needs. Well, that is how God responds to the genuine needs of a Christian. He meets them because of His fatherly obligation.

Now imagine another boy, a total stranger, coming up to me in the mall that day and saying, “Mister, I’m hungry. Will you buy me something to eat?” Based upon my assessment of the situation, if I sense a genuine need in the child, I might very well buy him something to eat. But I’m not obligated to do it, am I? Do you see the difference? I meet my boys’ need out of parental obligation, but I meet the other boy’s need out of something else, call it love, mercy, pity, charity, kindness, or compassion.

So, I’ll leave you with two thoughts. First, if you do not know Jesus as your Savior, you are not a child of God. You are loved by God and desired by Him, but you are not His child. You must believe in Christ as Savior to actually join the family (John 1:12). And then, second, if you do know Jesus as Savior, you really shouldn’t worry about the meeting of your needs. Remember that your heavenly Father has inexhaustible “riches” and is obligated to take care of you, even if he has to drop a salmon on your bank to do it.

Posted in Adversity, Children, Faith, Family, Fatherhood, God's Love, God's Provision, Needs, Parenting, Personal, Prayer Requests, Problems, Trusting In God, Worry | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Burned Spot

Posted on February 1, 2010 by russellmckinney

In the days when America’s west was being settled, prairie fires were one of the scourges of the land. The very thought of these fires struck terror into the hearts of the people. With dry grass standing high, sometimes as high as a horse’s head, the fires could sweep across vast acreages and not lack for fuel. To get caught out in the open in the midst of such a fire meant certain death.

Over the course of time, though, people figured out an odd way to remain alive during such a typically fatal time. First, you used water or dirt to create a large circular pattern in the grass surrounding you. Second, you used a match to start a fire inside that circle. Third, once all the grass inside the circle was burned, you laid down inside the circle and covered your face to avoid smoke inhalation. The prairie fire would rage all around the burned circle but not come inside it. It couldn’t come inside it because the grass to fuel it there had already been consumed.

When God looks down upon the earth, He still sees a certain spot just outside the old city of Jerusalem. It is a burned spot (think of it as a circular area) the fires of His holy wrath consumed some two thousand years ago. The spot goes by different names: Calvary (Luke 23:33), Golgotha (John 19:17), and the Place of a Skull (Matthew 27:33). Scholars debate its precise location, but God knows exactly where it is. It was at this spot that Jesus died on a Roman cross for the sins of the world. The burning of the spot reached its climax when Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46)

The fact is, the fire of God’s wrath must sweep through the life of each sinner. His indescribable holiness demands it. Those who have believed in Jesus as Savior are granted the privilege of standing inside the burned spot of the cross because Jesus has already taken God’s wrath for us. This allows us to watch in safety as God’s wrath rages all around us. On the other hand, those who have not believed in Jesus as Savior must face the fire of God’s wrath out in the open, on their own. As John 3:16-18 and 36 put it:

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God…..He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him. (N.K.J.V.)

Posted in Assurance of Salvation, Belief, Christ's Death, Coming Judgment, Crucifixion, Eternal Security, Forgiveness, God's Wrath, God's Judgment, Good Friday, Grace, Salvation | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

No Church Today

Posted on January 31, 2010 by russellmckinney

We had to cancel church today due to our second big snow in six weeks. Whereas the December storm dumped a foot on us, this one only gave us six or seven inches. I suppose we should be grateful that the weather guys missed the forecast a little. We were supposed to have gotten a foot again.

I really do hate cancelling church. The fact is, I could get there. I have not one but two all-wheel-drive vehicles and am pretty good at driving on snow and ice. I could get the parking lot scraped too. My brother-in-law, Ben, has a big blade on his jeep and volunteers to handle that job for me.

So why cancel? I do it because I don’t want anybodygetting hurt by trying to get to church on a wintry morning. If one car ended up in a ditch, I’d feel terrible. If one elderly person slipped and broke a hip while getting in or out of a car, I’d feel terrible. If one mother’s feet gave way and she went down while holding her child, I’d feel terrible. I know we aren’t supposed to live in fear of what could happen — and I’m really not a “doom and gloom” person — but I don’t think God wants us to completely abandon common sense in some misguided zeal about never missing a church service.

As I listened to the church closings on our local radio station this morning, it became obvious that 95% of the pastors took the same cautious approach I did today. No church was having regular services. One was only having an 11:00 worship service, and a couple were having 2:00 services this afternoon. But 95% just cancelled everything.

For me, a Sunday morning without church is like a basketball court without goals. It’s just not right. I’m not one of these people who secretly cheers when church gets cancelled. (Seriously, if you are such a person, you need to do some soul searching and figure out why getting to “legally” skip church excites you.) And it’s not just the fact that I want to preach. It seems like I’m always preparing sermons or preaching them. The thing is, I really do miss the fellowship and community of church. I enjoy being around my brothers and sisters in Christ. I enjoy them being a blessing to me and me being a blessing to them.

Oh well, my prayer on days like today is that cancelling services will help the members realize how much they enjoy coming to Disciples Road Church. It’s the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” thing. I don’t ever want church attendance to become rut or ritual to them. I don’t even want it to become mere “religion.” Christianity got off track when it became a religion. It was always supposed to be a relationship, a relationship between the believer and Jesus. And as a integral part of that relationship, the believer is supposed to attend church on Sunday, the first day of the week, as a way of celebrating Christ’s resurrection on that Sunday morning so long ago. Yes, Christians are supposed to do that celebrating every Sunday, not just Easter Sunday.

On a completely different note, I did get one bit of good news this morning. My scales weighed me at 187 pounds. So, I’ve lost 14 pounds in 20 days since I started my diet and exercise program. If you want to know the specifics of how I’m doing it, go back and read the post entitled “It’s Diet Time Again.”

My goal is still to get somewhere between 175 and 180 pounds. From there I’ll just be trying to maintain. I’ve been in that range before, and I’ve even held it for a couple of years, but it doesn’t happen naturally. What naturally happens is me drifting back up over 200 pounds. Since I know that full well, maybe I can prevent it from happening this time and stay at my ideal weight. Now if I can just figure out a way to safely have church after a big snow on Saturday. That one is a little more problematic.            

Posted in Christ's Resurrection, Church, Church Attendance, Dieting, Easter, Personal | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Importance of a Child’s Salvation

Posted on January 30, 2010 by russellmckinney

“Parenting” series: (post #4)

This post will be the fourth and last in my series on parenting. In the previous three posts, I’ve dealt with the importance of obedience in a child, the importance of individuality in a child, and the importance of spanking a child. Now, with this one, I want to talk about the importance of a child’s salvation.

Let us never forget that little boys and little girls need salvation. Salvation isn’t just for the drunk lying in the street, the convicted killer on death row, or the Muslim terrorist. It is also for young sons and young daughters.

To get us into this, let’s look at 2 Timothy 1:1-5, where the apostle Paul writes:

Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, according to the promise of life which is in Christ Jesus, To Timothy, a beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. (N.K.J.V.)

You’ll notice that Paul, in verse 5, talks about a genuine saving faith, which equates to an authentic belief in Jesus Christ. Paul says to Timothy, “This saving faith (this authentic belief in Christ) was first in your grandmother Lois. She then passed it down to her daughter (your mother) Eunice. Then Eunice passed it down to you.”

By reading between the lines just a bit, we see that Lois and Eunice created an atmosphere in their family wherein Timothy wanted to personally put saving faith in Jesus. That atmosphere started when Lois put saving faith in Christ. Her salvation then played a big part in her daughter, Eunice, putting saving faith in Christ. And then Eunice’s salvation, in turn, played a big part in her son, Timothy, putting saving faith in Christ. In this way, salvation became something of a family affair for that family.

Now, with this understood, I want to devote the rest of this post to offering some practical advice about how parents should share the gospel with their small children. I’ve put this advice under the headings of three general statements, and I don’t think you’ll have any trouble following along. Ready? Here we go.

Statement #1 is: Parent, before you ask your child to believe in Jesus as Savior, it’s a good idea for you to have a basic foundation of Jesus already in place in that child’s life.

When it comes time for a child to seriously deal with Jesus and His offer of salvation, it will be so much better if there is a basic foundation of Christ already in place in that child’s life. But how does a parent lay such a foundation? The obvious ways include taking the child to church every Sunday and buying the child a children’s Bible. The sad truth is that many parents fail even in these basic areas.

Moving on from these basics, there is what I’ll call the spoken word. By this I mean that from a child’s early days that child should hear his or her parents talking to Jesus and about Jesus. Really, Jesus should be as much a part of the home as any of those who are living there.

First, here are a few examples of how a child can hear a parent talk to Jesus. Parent, at mealtime let your child hear you say, “Jesus, we thank you for this food.” When it rains, say to your child, “Well, Jesus is sending us some rain.” When your child goes to bed, make your child’s bedtime prayers to Jesus. Get on your knees beside the child’s bed, have the child close his or her eyes, and then pray something like, “Jesus, thank you for watching over us today. Thank you for this home. Thank you for this warm bed to sleep in.” Then, after your child has heard you pray such a prayer night after night, you should let the child do the praying. Hopefully, the child will learn to pray like you pray. And, by the way, be sure to remind the child that Jesus is God. If the child tries to act silly during the prayer time, just say, “Now remember, you are talking to God.”

You see, if you will talk to Jesus correctly in front of your child, you can build all kinds of great theology into your child’s thinking long before the child is mature enough to formally believe in Jesus as Savior. Just through the things your child hears you pray, that child can learn that Jesus is: God, our creator, our sustainer, our protector, and our provider. Then, when the child is mature enough to honestly deal with the issue of believing in Christ as Savior or rejecting Him, the child will have all of that wonderful foundation already in mind. Basically, if a child already thinks of Jesus as God, creator, sustainer, protector, and provider, it won’t be too hard for him or her to add Savior to the list.

Now let me mention a few examples of how a child can hear a parent talk about Jesus. Parent, when you go to the beach, stand with your child on the shore, look out at the ocean, and say, “Didn’t Jesus create a big, beautiful ocean?” When a problem comes up, say to your child, “Don’t worry, Jesus will help us with this.” At Christmastime, tell your child the story of how Jesus left heaven, became a baby, and was born to a virgin named Mary. At Easter, tell the child the story of how Jesus died for the sins of the world and then arose from the dead. At all times of the year, read Bible stories about Jesus to your child. And as you do all this, make it a point to talk about Jesus as a real person. Don’t let Him get lumped in with SpongeBob SquarePants, Elmo, or Big Bird.

What I’m saying is, let your child hear you using the spoken word to talk to Jesus and about Jesus. In a hundred different prayers and a hundred different conversations, use the words you speak to saturate your child’s world with Jesus. This is a great way for you to lay a basic foundation of Christ in that child’s life.

And now, with that ground covered, let me move on to my second statement, which is:

Statement #2: Parents, when it comes to the matter of salvation, don’t rush your child.

Any right-thinking parent wants their child to be saved from that fiery place the Bible calls “hell.” That’s perfectly understandable. However, what each parent should remember is that children under the age of accountability are not in immediate danger of “hell.” Let me explain.

If you look for the term “the age of accountability” in the Bible, you won’t find it. That doesn’t mean, though, that the idea of an age of accountability is wrong. While it’s true that each child is born a sinner, it’s also true that infants and small children simply do not have the ability to understand the concept of salvation, let alone God’s plan of salvation. The issue is not the child’s innocence, because each child is a born sinner. The issue is the fact that the plan of salvation is totally beyond the understanding of a child. How can you share the gospel with a child when that child can’t even understand your language? I know that Romans 1:20 teaches that every adult on planet earth is without excuse before God (even those who have never heard about Christ), but adults aren’t the same as little children.

Matthew chapter 18 comes into play here. In that chapter we find the story of Jesus calling a little child to Himself. In using that child as an object lesson to teach His disciples, Jesus says to them, “Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones; for I say unto you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 18:10, N.K.J.V.) Isn’t it interesting that little children have angels who always behold the face of God the Father in heaven? I don’t know everything there is to know about that, but I sure like the sounds of it.

In addition to that passage, we also have the story from 2nd Samuel chapter 12. In that story, David’s infant son dies and David says of him, “I will go to him, but he shall not return to me” (2nd Samuel 12:23). Now, when David thought about the afterlife he certainly wasn’t planning on spending eternity apart from God, was he? Remember that this is the same guy who wrote in Psalm 23:6, “I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Therefore, by putting David’s two quotes together, we learn that he thought of the soul of his dead, infant son as being with God. Furthermore, 2nd Samuel chapter 12 isn’t just a story from the life of David. It is also a part of the inspired word of God. That means that those words aren’t just wishful thinking on David’s part.

Because of these passages and some others I could mention, I have enough confidence in the idea of an age of accountability to say that a parent shouldn’t rush their small child to “make a decision” for Jesus. Parent, the last thing you want to do is coerce your child into making some shallow, uninformed, false decision for Christ. You certainly don’t do that child any favors by creating a false assurance of salvation in the child.

If you do create such a false assurance, here’s what will probably happen. After your child makes that false decision, you will follow that up by getting the child baptized as soon as possible. Next, following that baptism, you will want the child to officially join the church membership roll. But that will be disastrous because both the baptism and the church membership will be a sham. In such a case, the church will get hurt because ideally each person on the church’s membership roll is a true Christian. And then also, the child will get hurt because he will grow up thinking that he is on the way to heaven when in reality he isn’t.

Of course, the age of accountability is different for each child. Anyone who knows children knows that children don’t mature at the same rate. That’s why I can’t tell you how old your child will be when he or she has the mental capability to genuinely believe in Christ as Savior. All I’m saying is, please don’t rush your child on this. There is far too much to lose by making this mistake.

And now, finally, my third and last statement on how parents should share the gospel with small children is this:

Statement #3: Parent, when you explain the plan of salvation to your child, keep it simple.

When you are giving your child the gospel, stay on topic and stick with the essentials. You don’t need to include a teaching on the Rapture. You don’t need to get into what the Bible says about bodily resurrection. You don’t need to try to explain election and predestination. You don’t need to bring up the topic of spiritual gifts. Just stick with the basic, vital, mandatory information.

  • The child is a sinner
  • Jesus is the Son of God
  • Jesus died to pay for the child’s sins
  • The child needs to believe in Jesus as Savior

On the other hand, don’t oversimplify things and pronounce the child a Christian when he or she isn’t. Just lay out the bare bones of the gospel and see how the child responds. Ask the child, “Do you understand this?” Even if the child says, “Yes,” don’t just take the child’s word for it. Quiz the child to see if he or she really does understand. If the understanding is there, then you can push on to the decision part. If the understanding isn’t there, the child is probably too young to grasp what you are saying. In other words, he or she hasn’t reached the age of accountability yet. But always, always, always, keep your presentation of the gospel simple.

Well, there is so much more that could be said on this subject, but I’m going to leave it all for someone else and go ahead and close out this post and this series. Parent, just know that your child’s salvation is THE most important goal in bringing up that child. It’s sad that so many parents put such careful thought and work into planning for their children’s college education, while those same parents give precious little attention to leading those children into saving belief in Christ.

What we need today are some parents like Lois and Eunice, parents who long to see their children become Christians and who understand how to create a home atmosphere wherein that can happen. In my opinion, if we had more parents like Lois, more children like Eunice would follow, and if we had more parents like Eunice, more children like Timothy would follow. You see, these are the kind of parents we need today, parents who are committed to seeing their children authentically saved. And I’m asking you right now, will you be such a parent? If you will, then may the Lord help you with the challenging task, and may your tribe joyfully increase.

Posted in Baptism, Belief, Children, Church Attendance, Evangelism, Parenting, Salvation, Series: "Parenting", Witnessing | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Importance of Spanking a Child

Posted on January 28, 2010 by russellmckinney

“Parenting” series: (post #3)

This will be post #3 in my series on parenting, and this one will answer the question of what the Bible teaches about spanking. Before we look at any scripture, though, I want to say a quick word about child abuse. Hear me out.

Tragically, child abuse does occur. Unfortunately, however, many people label any form of spanking as child abuse. I want you to give me credit, though, for not advocating fanatic extremism. When I talk about spanking a child, I’m not talking about breaking a child’s arm, blacking a child’s eye, or bloodying a child’s nose. Instead, I’m talking about spanking in a sane, sensible way, one that makes use of that part of the anatomy that has extra flesh and padding. Surely it can’t be mere coincidence that God built us all with some extra padding back there.

Anyone with an ounce of common sense and Biblical sense knows that there are limits to how far a parent can go when spanking a child. My point with this post is simply that going to the other extreme and not spanking is also wrong. Putting a ban on spanking might satisfy the politically correct, but it will never satisfy God.

Alright, now let’s look at some scripture. We’ll begin with Proverbs 13:24:

He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. (N.K.J.V.)

Obviously, this verse flies directly in the face of the attitude that says, “If you really love your child, you will not spank the child.” God says, “That’s the exact opposite of the truth.” He says, “If you really love your child, you will spank that child.” The term I like is “tough love.” Real love can’t always be mush and gush. Real love must sometimes involve using the rod for the purpose of discipline.

The fact is that God, as each Christian’s heavenly father, simply demands that earthly parents follow the example that He sets in dealing with His children. I say this because Hebrews 12:5-10 tells us in no uncertain terms that God disciplines (chastens, whips) Christians when their unholy behavior demands it. That passage actually goes so far as to say that if God doesn’t chasten a person, that person isn’t a true child of God (a true Christian).

Listen parents, you aren’t more loving than God! God loves each Christian far more than any earthly parent loves any earthly child, and yet He still disciplines each Christian. You see, He doesn’t ask any parent to do something that He Himself isn’t willing to do. God knows that children must be disciplined (chastened, spanked). He loves His children too much not to spank them when they need it, and He asks each parent to follow His example.

Now let’s look at Proverbs 19:18:

Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction. (N.K.J.V.)

The scary part of this verse is that phrase “while there is hope.” The teaching is that a parent only has a limited window of time in which to break a child of its stubborn, destructive self-will. Parent, if you wait until the teenage years to start your chastening, you will be too late. You’ve got to do your chastening while your child is still developing those traits and habits that will carry that child through life. Never forget that those traits and habits will go a long way in determining what kind of a life the child will have.

Think about cement. When cement is first mixed and poured, you can put your handprint or your footprint into it. You can even write your name in it. But you can’t do any of that once that cement becomes hardened and settled.

In the same way, the parent who wants to leave an indelible impression upon a child must make that impression while the child is young. Once that child reaches a certain age, the impression won’t take. You can’t do much with a smart-aleck sixteen-year-old. You can’t build the proper values and the right kind of character into an eighteen-year-old who knows it all. That’s why we’ve got to mold and shape our children while they are still young. We’ve got to chasten them while there is hope.

Next, let’s look at Proverbs 22:15:

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him. (N.K.J.V.)

Parents, we’ve got to get away from this idea that children are naturally innocent. Each child comes out bearing the mark of Adam’s fall from righteousness. Maternity wards are filled with little sinners, and don’t you ever forget that. A newborn has daddy’s eyes, mommy’s nose, and Adam’s nature of sin.

Because of that nature of sin, each child is eaten up with foolishness. Children do things they shouldn’t do, foolish things. They run out in front of traffic. They climb trees that are dangerously high for them. They throw temper tantrums in the middle of stores. They do the very things they are told not to do.

And how do we get this foolishness out of them? Will begging do it? No. Will bargaining do it? No. Will reasoning do it? No. The Bible says that what will do it is the rod of correction.

I’m not against lecturing, revoking privileges, grounding, or putting a child in “time out.” Each of these brands of discipline has its place in the raising of a child. Furthermore, I don’t believe that spanking is always the best way of handling a situation. But let me be clear: I don’t read anything in the Bible about lecturing, revoking privileges, grounding, or using “time out.” I do, however, read a lot about spanking.

Parenting should work in the following way. First, parents should lay the foundation of spanking in a child’s life. Then once the child has been spanked and knows that spanking is a very real disciplinary option, the parents can build a diverse system of discipline atop that firm foundation of spanking. And, yes, that diverse system can include things such as lecturing, revoking privileges, grounding, or using “time out.”

The great mistake so many parents make is, they start trying to build the diverse system of discipline without ever laying the foundation for the building. In other words, they go straight to the other forms of discipline without first putting down the foundation of “the rod of correction.” Therefore, even as we acknowledge that there will be exceptions to the rule of spanking, let’s make sure that we don’t throw out the rule and just go with the exceptions. In God’s plan, the rod of correction, used rightly, is to be the initial, foundational means of disciplining in a child’s life.

Now let’s look at Proverbs 23:13-14:

Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell. (N.K.J.V.)

These verses take a little explaining. Let me start by saying that the Hebrew word translated as “hell” is sheol. There is a lot that I could say about Sheol, but for now let me just make the point that in Old Testament days people thought of Sheol as being the general realm of the dead.

In other words, the souls of everyone who died went to Sheol. One section of Sheol held the souls of the saved. That section was one of bliss and comfort. The other section held the souls of the unsaved. That section was one of suffering and torment. The New Testament’s Greek word for this afterlife place is Hades. Sheol and Hades are the same place.

So, when an Old Testament person says something about going to Sheol, he’s most likely talking in a very general way about dying. He’s simply saying, “I’m going to die.”

This means that the teaching of Proverbs 23:13-14 is not that spanking automatically leads to a child’s salvation. Instead, the teaching is that children who are spanked correctly tend to grow up and live longer lives than children who are never spanked. Think of it this way: When a parent refuses to spank a child and break that child of its inborn rebelliousness, that little rebel grows up to become a big rebel, and big rebels tend to live sin-shortened lives.

Big rebels rob banks and get killed in shootouts. Big rebels commit murder and are put to death in gas chambers. Big rebels become alcoholics whose livers and hearts become ravaged with the adverse effects of alcoholism. Big rebels become smokers whose lungs become blackened and damaged. Big rebels become drug addicts whose days are shortened by harming their bodies through drugs. Big rebels become sexually promiscuous and fall victim to sexually transmitted diseases. In all these examples and others we could mention, we see that unbroken rebels stand a very good chance of somehow shortening their days through some kind of sin.

Now let’s move to Proverbs 29:15,17. First look at verse 15:

The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. (N.K.J.V.)

And then comes verse 17:

Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul. (N.K.J.V.)

Here again we have a contrast presented. A child who is left to himself (who is not spanked when he or she needs it) brings his mother to shame. On the other hand, a child who is corrected (who is spanked when he or she needs it) gives delight unto a parent’s soul.

I’m not trying to be overly dramatic here, but something very important happens when a parent either spanks or refuses to spank. One of two categories of “seed” is planted in the child’s life, seed that will produce a harvest the parent will one day have to reap. First, rebels tend to make their parents’ last years troubled ones, years filled with regret. Why? It’s because those parents planted the wrong type of “seed” by refusing to spank. Second, obedient children tend to make their parents’ last years good ones, years filled with peace. Why? It’s because those parents planted the right type of “seed” by spanking.

So, to sum all this up, many parents today just don’t realize that a deadly disease is coursing through the veins of their children. That disease is sin, and its symptoms are: disobedience, stubbornness, selfishness, temper tantrums, back talking, and rebelliousness. Spiritually speaking, the only true cure for this disease is for the child to put saving belief in Jesus Christ. However, until the child is old enough to make a soul-saving decision to believe in Christ as Savior, the primary cure for the symptoms of the disease of sin is discipline. And, according to the Bible, the basic foundation for disciple should be spanking.

There was a time in this country when spanking was looked upon as a perfectly acceptable means of discipline. Now, though, public opinion has changed. But God certainly hasn’t changed and neither has His written word on this whole subject. As I noted earlier, Hebrews 12:5-10 teaches that He spanks His children (Christians) when they get out of line. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to us parents that He expects us to do the same with our children.

Posted in Children, Corporal Punishment, Discipline, Disobedience, God's Chastening, Obedience, Parenting, Series: "Parenting", Spanking | Tagged , , , , | 15 Comments

The Importance of Individuality in a Child

Posted on January 26, 2010 by russellmckinney

“Parenting” series: (post #2)

This will be the second post in my series on parenting. With this one, I want to talk about the importance of a child’s individuality. For my text, I’ll use Proverbs 22:6:

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (N.K.J.V.)

Hebrew scholars tell us that a precise translation of the Hebrew of this verse would read something like:

Train up a child according to his way: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This explains why the Amplified Bible, which is a translation that adds in extra words to help clarify the full meaning of Bible’s original Hebrew and Greek, renders the verse as follows:

Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping with his individual gift or bent), and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Okay, so why am I going to the trouble to dig so deep into the original Hebrew of Proverbs 22:6? I’m doing it because an improper understanding of what this verse actually says has led many to an improper application of it. For example, have you ever heard someone quote this verse as a promise that a child who was raised in a Christian home will always eventually return to that upbringing, even though that child’s life has downgraded into sin and worldliness? Speaking for myself, I know that I have heard the verse wrongly applied that way many times.

The problem with that attempted interpretation is that it not only doesn’t hold up to the test of the original Hebrew, it doesn’t even hold up to the test of real-life experience. Saying it plainly, some children who were trained up to know the Lord and live for Him do depart from that training and never return to it. How many times have you heard someone say of a wayward child who is living in rank sin, “Well, he wasn’t raised that way”?

Parent, your job is to let your child run with the talents, abilities, and interests that God has built into the child. You don’t have the right to push some destiny or course of life onto that child. Your responsibility is to find out what your child’s weak points and strong points are and help that child get on a road in life that will lead to fulfillment, happiness, and contentment.

Now, having said that, do you know what the main problem is that parents have in this area? It is this: Many parents want to live vicariously through their children. And the interesting thing about this vicarious living is that it can play out in one of two ways. Let me offer some examples of both.

First, some parents try to recreate their lives through their children. Let’s say that a father was always a great athlete. Playing ball came easily and naturally to him. So what does this father do? He tries to recreate his days as an athlete by pushing athletics onto his son. But let’s say that his son isn’t gifted in athletics and doesn’t enjoy sports. The boy would rather sit in his room and read a book than go outside and play ball. Despite this obvious problem, though, the father remains too caught up in recreating his glory days through the son to let the child just be himself.

Second, some parents try to go back and change their lives by living vicariously through their children. This way ends up at the same problem, but it gets there by means of a totally opposite motivation. Let’s say that a father wasn’t the great athlete he always longed to be. So what does he do? He tries to go back and change his life by pushing athletics onto his son. He looks at his son and says, “I’m going to make you the ballplayer that I never was.” It doesn’t matter that his son doesn’t have the nature or the ability of a ballplayer. That father makes his son play ball as a means of doing the playing he himself missed out on.

Of course, athletics is just one area where these two kinds of vicarious living show up. Here are some other illustrations involving other areas. I hope none of these describes you.

Let’s imagine a mother who is obsessed with turning her daughter into a beauty queen. Maybe this mother was a beauty queen herself or maybe she wasn’t attractive enough to be one, but whatever her motivation is she wants her daughter to be a beauty queen. So what does she do? She pushes that girl into beauty pageants, watches the girl’s eating habits like a hawk, makes her take singing lessons, makes her take dancing lessons, etc. You see, it’s all about that mother trying to either recreate her life or go back and change her life through her child.

Let’s imagine a father who is a skilled surgeon. This man says, “My son is going to grow up and follow in my footsteps. I’ll send him to the best college and the best medical school.” The only problem is that the little boy is a born mechanic. The father buys him one of those Operation games, but rather than take the tweezers and practice at surgery, the little boy takes the game apart just to see how it works. What should that father do with such a child? Obviously, he should steer that child towards technical school rather than medical school.

Let’s imagine the most practical, sensible, all-business mother who ever lived. This woman tries to stamp her personality onto her daughter. But the problem is that the daughter is not like her mother. The daughter is into the arts, things like poetry, music, and painting. So what should the down-to-earth mother do? She should build responsibility and godliness into her daughter and encourage her to let her creativity flow.

On and on I could go with the examples, but hopefully by now you are catching what I’m throwing. God doesn’t use a cookie-cutter to create children. He doesn’t use a one-size-fits-all pattern. Each child comes uniquely designed and gifted, and it is the parent’s job to help that child build a life around what that child is gifted to do.

You say, “But Russell, how do I know what my child’s natural tendencies and abilities are?” Good question. The answer is: You spend time with that child, watch that child, listen to that child, and study that child. Also, you let the child try different things.

One of the best ways to find out whether or not your child has a musical ability is to sign that child up for music lessons. I took guitar lessons for a while, and my mom and dad really encouraged me about my guitar-playing. They bought me two nice guitars, and every Saturday morning I went to a music teacher’s house and took lessons. I learned my chords and my notes, and I actually got to where I could play a few songs. Some of my friends and I even formed a group, and we won our local 4-H talent show, played a few local events, and played in the regional 4-H talent show.

Needless to say, if some boys had that kind of musical encouragement and experience they would make a life path out of music, right? But I didn’t do that. And do you know why I didn’t? It was because I didn’t have either a real desire or a real gift for music. Oh, sure, I could memorize the hand placements for chords and notes on a guitar. That wasn’t hard. But I wasn’t born to play music. That’s why I didn’t stay with it. I guess the fact that I absolutely despised practicing was an early tip-off!

The point I’m making, though, is that I didn’t realize that I wasn’t born for music until I actually gave it a try. So, parent, don’t get upset with your child when the child tries something but doesn’t stay with it. Just see that as a lesson learned in what your child isn’t meant to do.

I’m not a hunter. It’s not that I think hunting is morally wrong. I just simply don’t enjoy it. Still, I can vividly remember the one day I tried to be a hunter. My dad used to do some hunting, and one afternoon he took me bird hunting with him in the woods around our house. I was genuinely glad that he included me that day, and hunting is a wonderful way for fathers and sons to bond, but I didn’t enjoy walking through the woods, holding a gun, and looking for a bird to shoot. I was much happier being in the house watching television.

So, parent, let me encourage you to study your child, learn what the child’s strengths and weaknesses are, and help the child to run with those strengths. Yes, the world needs brain-surgeons, but it also needs school-bus drivers to get the future brain surgeons to and from grade school. The world needs corporate CEOs, but it also needs bricklayers to build the office buildings in which corporate CEOs work. The world needs writers, but it also needs garbage collectors to haul off all the discarded paper writers toss into trash cans.

You see, each child is unique and special, and it is a parent’s job to do all that he or she can to guide their child into the place in life that God has in mind for that child. Yes, that will take some effort, no doubt about it. But it will all be worth it when the child ends up happy, contented, and playing the role God built him or her to play. Parent, that’s a life goal you want to reach, and so stop trying to live vicariously through your child, and let that child be who he or she is.

Posted in Children, Fatherhood, Individuality, Parenting, Series: "Parenting", Sports | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment