“Marriage” series: (post #7)

The fact that our world has turned “sex” into a dirty word is tragic. After all, it was God who designed Adam and Eve to be sexual beings. He made them “male” and “female” and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). And what is the only way humans can multiply? Sex.

Obviously, then, one reason why sex is so important in marriage is procreation. Since many members of the human race die each day, new members must be born if the race is to continue. Procreation through sex was always God’s plan to perpetuate the race, and even Adam and Eve’s sin didn’t change that. The only change their sin produced in regards to procreation was that giving birth became painful for the woman. We hear this in God’s words to Eve: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception. In pain you shall bring forth children” (Genesis 3:16, N.K.J.V.).

A second reason why sex is so important in marriage is satisfaction. I’m talking now about the satisfying of the natural sex drive. Under the inspiration of God, Paul wrote:

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, N.K.J.V.)

Clearly, there is nothing wrong with having a sex drive and “passion.” These things are very real parts of being human. But God demands that we meet our sexual needs within the bonds of marriage.

This explains why Paul, earlier in that same seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians, actually forbids a husband and wife from depriving one another of sex. He writes:

It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control. (1 Corinthians 7:1-5, N.K.J.V.)

No doubt, Paul understood that the “water” Solomon describes in Proverbs 5:15-20 isn’t literal water. Those verses say:

Drink water from your own cistern and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times. And always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress? (N.K.J.V.)

Furthermore, that wasn’t the only passage in which Solomon, writing every bit as much under the inspiration of God as Paul did, addressed the topic of sex in marriage. The entire book The Song of Solomon (or The Song of Songs) is filled with intimate (sometimes even erotic) passages concerning the joys of romance and sex between a man and wife. For example, in Song of Solomon 4:1-15 and 7:1-7, Solomon gives vivid descriptions of his beautiful wife, the Shulamite, and she returns the favor in Song of Solomon 5:10-16. As we read these passages, it isn’t hard to see that Solomon and the Shulamite were sexually attracted to each other.

Along the same lines, consider these other descriptive passages (all from the N.K.J.V.):

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth” (Song of Solomon 1:2).

“While the king is at his table, my spikenard sends forth its fragrance. A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me that lies all night between my breasts” (Song of Solomon 1:12-13).

“Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair! You have dove’s eyes. Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! Also our bed is green” (Song of Solomon 1:15-16).

“By night on my bed I sought the one I love. I sought him, but I did not find him” (Song of Solomon 3:1)

Some people would be astounded to learn that such passages are in the Bible, but God had these words written and preserved to serve a purpose. He wants the world to know that He is very much for sex! It’s just that the sex has to be in accordance with His commandments and standards.

As for what are those commandments and standards are, here is the list:

Premarital sex is a sin.

Adultery is a sin.

Bigamy is a sin.

Polygamy is a sin.

Homosexuality is a sin.

Incest is a sin.

So, again let me say that “sex” isn’t supposed to be a dirty word. Sex only becomes dirty when we ignore God’s boundaries for it and start engaging in it through sinful ways. Not only is sex the God-designed means of propagation for the human race, it is also His outlet for the human sex drive in married couples. When it comes to sex, we only get into sin when we ignore God’s rules and in so doing turn it into something unholy rather than holy.