“But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly” (Matthew 6:3-4, N,.K.J.V.)
Recently, I listened to a Father’s Day sermon by a certain preacher whose televised programs I sometimes record. During one part of the sermon, he used the ministry of A.W. Tozer as an illustration. I was especially interested in that illustration because Tozer, who died in 1963, is about as legendary as they come in terms of 20th century preachers.
Tozer pastored several churches during his more than forty years in the ministry, most notably serving for thirty years as the pastor of Southside Alliance Church in Chicago. He is, however, best known for his work as an author. In particular, his book The Pursuit of God is considered an all-time classic among Christians.
I was surprised, though, to hear the t.v. preacher use Tozer’s life as an illustration of how a good man can be a bad father. To make his point, the preacher explained that Tozer’s wife, Ada, remarried following Tozer’s death and wasn’t shy about saying she was happier with her second husband than she had been with Tozer. Her second husband’s name was Leonard Odam, and she said of him, “Aiden (A.W) loved Jesus Christ but Leonard Odam loves me.”
Since I had never heard anyone throw an ounce of criticism Tozer’s way, I set myself to the task of online researching why Ada would say such a thing. What I learned was that she had good reason to say it. Tozer, for all of his godly qualities and gifting, was a far better preacher and author than he was a husband and father.
The Tozers had seven children together, and A.W. left the raising of them to Ada while he spent countless hours alone in prayer, meditation, sermon preparation, and writing. His travel schedule was also quite extensive. In the early days of his ministry, he would accept preaching engagements at a moment’s notice and hit the road, leaving Ada behind to catch up to him later. To make matters worse, A.W. exhibited a lifelong refusal to purchase an automobile, a conviction that oftentimes left Ada and the children to either walk or take buses or trains.
To say the Tozers lived frugally would be an understatement. Ada had to learn to do a lot with a little because she typically didn’t have an excess of money at her disposal. Why was the money in short supply when she was married to one of the most famous preachers in America? It was the result of A.W. caring little for wealth. He associated it with worldliness and therefore frequently returned half his salary to the church, refused pay increases, and donated much of the royalties from his book sales to charitable causes and people in need.
One writer summed up the Tozers marriage this way: “Most likely, A.W. Tozer was never purposely ill-intentioned toward his wife and family, but he was so singly focused on spiritual matters that his managing of practical matters bordered on insensitivity.” Another writer was more harsh, asking the question: “How did Tozer reconcile his passionate longing for communion with the Triune God with his failure to love passionately his wife and children?” One thing we can say for certain is that all the spiritual benefit millions have derived from A.W. Tozer’s sermons and books came at the expense of Ada Tozer affording him the time, energy, and unencumbered solitude to prepare those sermons and write those books.
In the end, A.W. Tozer’s shortcomings as a husband and father show us that no one, not even a devout Christian and outstanding minister such as Tozer, is perfect. But we don’t have to study the life of Tozer to learn that, do we? We can learn it just as easily by studying the Bible’s numerous characters who were spiritual giants in some areas and spiritual babes in others. Samuel, for example, was a resounding success as a Judge and a prophet, but he was a failure as a father. Likewise, Solomon built the Temple and had more wisdom than any other man, but he foolishly took hundreds of women for himself and allowed them to lead him into idolatry. These are just a couple of scriptural examples from a long list of them.
The old saying says, “God can hit a straight lick with a crooked stick.” How thankful we should be this saying is true because there are, after all, no totally straight sticks. Let’s keep this in mind anytime we hear that Christians whom we have held in high regard aren’t all that we thought they were. Oh, and let’s also not forget that every Christian who faithfully serves “behind the scenes” without recognition or fanfare in this life will be openly and eternally rewarded in the next one. My guess is that Ada Tozer earned a lot of heavenly rewards while she served in the shadow of her famous husband, and she started enjoying those rewards the moment she died on July 8, 1987. The world may not have known much about all the “secret” service she rendered to allow A.W. the opportunity to do everything he did in service to Jesus, but Jesus surely did.
The Disciple's Road 
Tozer’s wife has very well received a greater reward for her quiet service to the church than her husband.What a great and faithful woman she must have been!
No argument here.
Whiteout question Tozer surely was a dynamic God sent instrument in the Lord’s hand.His writings are second to none.The Christian Church owes a great debt to this man of God— though his ministry at home,perhaps,suffered much.
Michael
Very interesting article Pastor Russell Mckinney.A.W. Tozer, like many that are married in the ministry, live as if they were single. They should have followed the Apostle Paul’s advice not to marry and remain single (1Cor.7:25-35).
Who’s to say if Tozer should have ever married? Maybe so, maybe not. But your point is well taken. This July will mark my 30th wedding anniversary, and we have two fine sons. So, I know firsthand what Paul was talking about when he said, “He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord — how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world — how he may please his wife.”
Tozer was able to do both.Granted his wife and children suffered much,yet his God ordained ministry vindicated his circumstances( which included his marital status).We need to remember that this extraordinary man lived in the will of God,and thus God provided for his family,and Tozer because he lived the biblical standards of putting God first did not nullify his responsibilities at home,though on the surface it appears so.We have so many lukewarm So- called Christians today,and taking God seriously at His word is hardly known.Don’t you think that all his family members today are rejoicing in heaven over the courageous stance that her husband and father of his children took to stem the tide and wade through the deep waters to liberate a people?Tozer had his faults,sure enough,but “Wisdom is justified of her children.?God help this cotton candy generation that threads the courts of Jehovah with defiled feet and unwashen hands and unregenerated heart.
Ps.37:31— Michael
I suppose if we wanted to find some kind of scriptural justification for Tozer’s apparent neglect of his wife and kids, Luke 14:26-27 might have some bearing on the case: “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.”
God Bless you Pastor Russell Mckinney and Congratulations on your 30th Wedding Anniversary.
Thank you so much!
Greetings, Pastor Russell McKinney. I’m not sure if it was sarcasm, but could you kindly expatiate on your application of Luke 14:26-27 to Michael Carlascio’s response especially in the light of Paul’s advice in 1 Cor 7 not to marry. I do agree with the original commenter (S.e. Gregg) who believes it better that men with such singular focus on ministry not to marry as for every Tozer who was blessed to have a believing household in spite of his failings, there are men whose children left the faith because they weren’t present or were one thing to their congregation and another to their family. I understand that one can argue that doing everything right is not a guarantee that one’s children will know the Lord, nevertheless, I do not think Jesus was calling those who would follow him to abandon their families or loved ones in Luke 14, neither do I think that Michael Carlascio implied, it is enough to assume that because a man is faithfully serving God in ministry and providing for his family, he is not neglecting them as well (the testimony of Tozer’s wife who was closer to him than anyone does not support this). Rather, I believe there is a healthy balance Scripture calls leaders, pastors, ministry workers, etc. to while passionately serving God by also being loving and showing affection and care to their loved ones; by being present and attentive: sure, it’s hard work (perhaps impossible without the grace of God), but it doesn’t have to be one or the other…
Still, like you said, no one is perfect, and, like Tozer (who was better than most of us), in spite of our best efforts, we all fall short: with God and with men. In the end, all the glory goes to our Sovereign God who is bigger than our mistakes and shortcomings and causes even these to work out for our good. Nevertheless, I think while Tozer’s story is a beautiful one of faithful service and devotion to God, it’s a cautionary tale reminding us not to neglect those who are closest to us – whom we are often prone to taking for granted.
The reply wasn’t meant as sarcasm. It was simply my attempt to point out that even Jesus taught that a man’s love for his wife should pale in comparison to his love for Jesus so much that the love for the wife almost seems like hate. In other words, even if Tozer did sincerely love his wife, he loved Jesus so much more that his love for his wife came off looking a touch like hatred. Obviously, Jesus was using exaggerated, hyperbolic language in that passage as He sometimes did, but nevertheless His point is well taken. I was simply trying to convey that perhaps Tozer’s ministry and marriage were real-life evidence of Luke 14:26-27.
As for Paul’s advice in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, even Paul admitted that he was merely expressing his own personal wishes (verse 7). That’s why he quickly follows it up by saying that each man has his own “gift” (either an inner bent toward remaining single or an inner bent toward getting married). Furthermore, the fact that he then proceeds to lay down certain ground rules for marriage (verses 9-16) provides further proof that he wasn’t expressing any kind of universal prohibition against marriage.
I agree with you that a healthy balance between minister/husband/father is possible. According to scripture, Peter had a wife as did some of the other apostles and the half brothers of Jesus (1 Corinthians 9:5). Yes, it takes work to strike the balance but it can be done.
Hmmmm. God is helping Us. We read these biographies to unlearn, relearn and know God better in a wider relational spheres; Father, Friend, Brother, King, Judge,, Master and others. But in All Living a balanced Life is the ultimate Goal-God is helping Us
It’s the reverse of when a priest gives up the calling to get married and start a family. But when you already have a wife and children, would people think it Christian to renounce married life and devote 100% of your time to preaching?
Also, those were different times. It was common for men to work many hours, pursue outside interests and let the wife and kids sort of fend for themselves emotionally, and even be stingy with money. The term ”family man” referred to a wholly different approach, where the man worked and provided for the family materially, but was also devoted to them emotionally. “Family man” did not mean a married man with a lot of kids.
What I’m saying is that it was very common at that time for a woman’s emotional and even material needs not to be top priority.
Yes, Charlotte, I agree that those were different times. I still have my doubts about Tozer being the husband and father God wanted him to be, but it truly is hard to judge (for lack of a better word) peoples’ behavior from different eras. I understand that.