A Little Church Humor for the Day After Christmas

Because I’m pretty much fried — in body and brain — from a month’s worth of all things Christmas, I thought it would be nice if I let others do the writing today. A good friend of mine sent me a couple of pages of jokes a while back, and I’m just going to pull out some of my favorites and share them with you. Enjoy.

*A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their letters to class the following Sunday. One little boy wrote, “Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been there.”

*Another Sunday School teacher was teaching her young students about Noah and the Ark. When she asked them what they thought Noah did to pass the time aboard the Ark, she got no reply. Finally, she remembered that there weren’t any fish in the Ark and said, “Maybe he did a lot of fishing.” To that, one little boy gave her a funny look and said, “I don’t think so. It’s kinda hard to fish with just two worms.”

*One man said to another man at a gathering, “I’ve been racking my brain, but I can’t seem to place you. But you do look like someone I’ve seen a lot, someone I don’t particularly like. But I can’t tell you why. Isn’t that strange?” “There’s nothing strange about it,” said the other man. “You have seen me a lot, and I know exactly why you resent me. For two years I passed the collection plate in your church.”

*The church service was over, and the pastor stood at the door shaking hands with the people as they left. A woman shook his hand and said, “You know what? I don’t think I’ll come back to this church any more. Every time I come you people sing the same two songs. You either sing Silent Night or He Arose.” (Get it?)

*Deer-hunting season began one Saturday. The next day, at the close of the Sunday morning service, a pastor said to his congregation, “Raise your hand if you bagged a deer yesterday.” Not one hand was lifted. Puzzled, the pastor said, “I don’t understand this. I know that many of you went hunting yesterday, and I specifically asked God to bless your deer.” After a brief pause, one hunter replied, “Well, preacher, He did. They’re all safe. Next time, ask Him to bless our aim.”

*(Here’s one that is particularly relevant to this time of year.) The following conversation occurred when an IRS agent visited a pastor:

  • agent: “Pastor, do you know a Mr. Karten?”
  • pastor: “Yes, I do.”
  • agent: “Is he a member of your congregation?”
  • pastor: “Yes, he is.”
  • agent: “And did Mr. Karten really donate $100,000 to your church, as he has claimed on his tax return?”
  • pastor: “I assure you he will!”
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