Charles Bracelan Flood’s book, Lee: The Last Years, gives us a thought-provoking story from the life of Robert E. Lee. As the story goes, Lee visited the home of a Kentucky woman shortly after the end of the Civil War. The woman took him to the remains of a grand old tree that stood in front of her home. Standing there beside the ruined tree, Lee listened as she cried bitter tears and cursed the Union army for destroying the tree’s limbs and trunk. When she finished, she expected Lee to condemn the North or at least sympathize with her loss. Lee, instead, paused for a moment and said, “Cut it down, my dear madam, and forget it.”

Finish this sentence for me: “In all honesty, I have never fully forgiven ………..” If no particular name came to your mind to finish that sentence, it’s possible that you aren’t carrying any old grudges or hatreds. On the other hand, if a name instinctively popped in there, even if you didn’t want it to pop in there, you need to address that problem in your life.

Carefully consider the following quotes from Jesus (all from the N.K.J.V.):

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14-15)

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses. (Mark 11:25-26)

And forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. (Luke 11:4)

Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37)

It’s hard to overstate the seriousness of these quotes. If Jesus said something once it was important, but how important a subject must be for Him to hammer on it multiple times? Suffice is to say that Jesus makes a big deal out of you refusing to forgive someone even if you don’t think it’s a big deal.

Just like that Kentucky woman who carried a hatred for the Union army because of what they had done to her tree, perhaps you are withholding forgiveness from someone who has wronged you. If that’s the case, let me encourage you to take Robert E. Lee’s advice. Cut that tree down and forget it. Stop visiting it every day. Stop thinking about it all the time. Stop shedding tears about it. Stop mourning over it. And stop trying to get others to join you in your mourning. Instead, extend forgiveness to the person, even if the forgiveness is undeserved. You’ll be amazed at what a difference this will make in your life. After all, spending hours on end staring at a ruined, bombed out tree doesn’t make for much of a life.