Making Perception Align With Reality

The owner of a candy store noticed that one of his salesgirls would have customers lined up waiting for her even as his other girls stood by doing nothing. Perplexed by this, he went to the girl and asked for her secret. She answered, “The other girls scoop up more than the requested amount of candy and then start taking away. I scoop up less and then add to it.”

It’s all about perception, isn’t it? Those customers were perceiving themselves to be getting more candy from that salesgirl, even though they really weren’t. Of course, that’s the problem with perception: it usually bears little semblance to the truth.

We Christians must admit that the perception lost people have of us usually isn’t all that glowing. They perceive us to be hypocritical, judgmental, bigoted, closed-minded, ignorant, irrational, and angry. Admittedly, some Christians can rightly be classified under each of those adjectives. There are many Christians, however, who can’t, and these are the ones who can’t be so easily explained away by lost people.

A world traveler visited the land of what had once been a savage race of cannibals. Actually, the only reason the man could even visit the land was because Christian missionaries had previously blazed the trail, learned the language, and won many of those cannibals to Christ. As the traveler struck up a conversation with one of the natives, he couldn’t resist sharing his views on Christianity with the native. He said, “I myself have no use for the religion. I don’t believe the Bible to be anything other than a man-made book. I don’t believe that Jesus was God in the flesh. And I don’t believe that I will somehow be changed if I believe in Him as my Savior.” To that the native answered, “My friend, if Jesus does not change lives, you would be in a pot by now.”

Is that story real? I doubt it. But could it be? Absolutely! As 2 Corinthians 5:17 says:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new.

The test that we Christians must pass daily is that of making the reality of this change align with the world’s perception of us. Putting it another way, we’ve got to act “new.” If we continue to commit our same old sins and hold to our same old wrong attitudes, that will create a false perception of us. Lost people will look at us and think, “I guess that Jesus thing didn’t work out so well.” On the other hand, if we exhibit a genuine change from cannibalistic to cordial (to go back to my illustration), from hypocritical to holy, from angry to affable, from judgmental to just, etc., then they won’t be able to dismiss us so quickly. And that is why it is so important that we walk the walk in addition to talking the talk.

Remembering Your Homeland & Culture

An Englishman went to visit his longtime friend, a British military officer who was stationed in an African jungle. When he finally arrived at the officer’s hut and entered it, he was startled to find his friend dressed in formal clothing and seated at a table beautifully set with polished silverware and fine china.

When the Englishman asked the officer why he was all dressed up and seated at such a table in the middle of nowhere, the officer answered: “Once a week I follow this routine to remind myself of who I am – a British citizen. I want to maintain the customs of my real home and live according to the codes of British conduct, no matter how those around me live. I want to avoid substituting a foreign culture for that of my homeland.”

The parallel to living the Christian life is obvious. Even though we Christians are currently stationed in a foreign land, we are still citizens of the kingdom of heaven. As the Bible says, we are “strangers and pilgrims on the earth” (Hebrews 11:13) but “our citizenship is in heaven” (Philippians 3:20). These facts are not in question. What is in question is whether or not we are substituting the foreign culture of this world for that of our homeland.

Physical Beauty

I walked past Tonya the other day as she was watching the Miss World beauty pageant. It didn’t take me long to notice that the host looked like a Keebler elf compared to those Amazons. I mean, really, if the girls all have to be in the 5’11-6’0 range, the show is going to have to hire a basketball player as the host. But I digress.

When I think of physical beauty, I think of the Bible’s Esther. She won a national beauty contest and became the Queen of Medo-Persia, the most powerful empire of that day (Esther 2:1-18). Working from that position she became the vessel through which God kept Haman (an Old Testament Adolf Hitler) from wiping out the entire Jewish race. Do you know what that tells me? It tells me that God can use physical beauty to accomplish His work.

Of course, there’s no doubt that Satan can use it to accomplish his too, is there? Every smut magazine, pornographic film, scantily clad model, and “sex object” starlet is evidence of that. Take beauty pageants for example. The only way they will ever have my respect is if they take out the swimsuit competition. Yeah, right, like that’s going to happen.

In Proverbs 31:30, the Bible says that “beauty is passing.” Likewise, Psalm 49:14 says that it shall be “consumed in the grave.” So the real issue is: How will a woman use her beauty during those years in which she has it? Will she be an Esther who uses it for God’s glory? Or will she use it to tempt, entice, allure, and manipulate men to accomplish the devil’s purposes? I’ll leave you with Proverbs 11:22, a verse that I think a lot of women need to heed these days. It says simply:

As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.

1,500 Sheep

Not too many years ago the Associated Press ran a story that came out of Gavas, a town in eastern Turkey. According to the story, one sheep from a very large flock walked to the edge of a cliff and jumped to its death. A second sheep soon followed. Then a third. Then a fourth. Then a fifth. The A.P. report read:

“Stunned Turkish shepherds, who had left the herd to graze while they had breakfast, watched as nearly 1,500 others followed, each leaping off the same cliff.”

Incredibly, only 450 of the sheep died. The rest survived because their fall was cushioned by the bodies of the sheep that had jumped before them.

Here’s a typical parent-child conversation:

Jimmy: “Dad, can I take my skateboard and try a triple-spin reverse off the front porch?”

Dad: “No!”

Jimmy: “Why not? Tommy does it.”

Dad: “If Tommy jumped off a cliff, would you follow him?”

That comeback about jumping off a cliff really is the classic reason that parents use to keep a kid from caving in to peer pressure, isn’t it? It reminds me of the old “You’ll shoot your eye out” line from the movie A Christmas Story. Little Ralphie says, “That deadly phrase honored many times by hundreds of mothers was not surmountable by any means known to Kid-dom.”

Truth be told, though, parents have to warn their kids about jumping off cliffs because peer pressure is such a powerful force. In his book There’s A Sheep Born Every Second, David Kirkwood uses that A.P. story about those sheep and writes, “Imagine the peer pressure that last sheep must have felt. Surely 1,499 sheep can’t be wrong, can they?”

Since I’m currently raising a freshman and a 5th-grader myself, I feel that I can speak with some expertise on this subject. And apparently, if all the reports I’ve heard are true, there are some IDIOT parents running around out there. These parents lower the bar on standards, set bad precedents, create dangerous trends, and (in my humble opinion) should have their parenting licenses revoked.

So today’s post is a word of encouragement to all you parents who are still trying to hold the line. Keep up the good work. Don’t make the mistake of giving in to peer-pressure yourself, the pressure other parents put on you to let your kids: watch anything they want to watch, listen to anything they want to listen to, wear anything they want to wear, think anything they want to think, say anything they want to say, go anywhere they want to go, buy anything they want to buy, and do anything they want to do. Can 1,499 sheep be wrong? You’d better believe they can! And that’s why you can’t let your child be number 1,500.

Don’t Blame God

A barber and a minister found themselves having to travel through a rather seedy part of town. Disgusted by the conditions he saw, the barber said, “This is why I cannot believe in a God of love. How could such a God allow all this poverty, squalor, and disease? How could He allow these poor people to continue on in their addictions?”

The minister remained silent until they saw a man who was especially in a bad way. As a part of his deplorable appearance he had long hair and a half-inch of stubble on his face. The minister took the opportunity to use the man as an object lesson. He said to the barber, “You must not be a very good barber. How could you let that man go around in such need of a haircut and a shave?” Insulted, the barbed replied, “You can’t blame me for his appearance. He’s never given me a chance to fix him up.” To that the minister said, “Then don’t blame God for the state of this neighborhood. He is constantly inviting these people to come to Him through Christ and have their lives restored, but they refuse the offer.”

Happy Birthday, Mom

Today is my mother’s birthday, and I’d like to use this post to recall just one of the fond memories that I have of her. Please understand that I could also speak of innumerable meals prepared, loads of laundry done, beds made, appointments kept, trips to church, Christmas and birthday presents, and whatever else it took to get me raised. But writing about all that would take the rest of my life and would turn into an encyclopedia set. So, instead, I’ll just run with this one memory.

Back in the day, at my middle school, shorts were still pretty taboo. There was no written rule against wearing them, but everybody usually wore pants no matter how hot it was. I realize that things are different now. My two sons wear shorts to school half the year. But this was the late 1970s and I’m merely telling you how it was.

Anyway, one spring day I decided, for whatever reason, to become a trendsetter and boldly wear a pair of shorts to school. Even as I write these words I can’t explain to you what possessed me to step out of the herd. Call it a temporary lapse of sanity. So off I went to school, wearing a nice pair of shorts, no doubt showing legs white enough to blind someone.

Well, once I arrived at school and began to mix and mingle, it didn’t take me long to realize that I had messed up. My fellow classmates weren’t brutal, but a few little remarks were certainly made. Mainly, however, my embarrassment came from within. Of course, that didn’t make it any less real. Needless to say, after a couple of hours I was ready to go find some pants.

This is where my mother comes into the story. Fortunately for me, she worked in the Clerk of Courts office right up the street from the school. So I went down to the school office, called her, and told her to come get me. I didn’t know how she would respond, but I was very grateful when she picked me up within minutes. She took me home, where I changed into a pair of my favorite jeans. Then she took me back to school and I had a much better afternoon than morning.

I don’t know why, but as I thought about today being her birthday that experience came to my mind. You know, it was one of those deals for which a parent never hears, “Thank you,” but the kid never forgets the love and kindness. So, as a birthday present to you mom, I say a long overdue, “Thank you,” not just for bailing me out that day but also for the countless other acts of loving kindness over my forty-four years on this earth. I know that this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day, and that’s the day normally set aside for talk such as this, but I thought you might enjoy this as a birthday present. I love you. And never doubt that I do remember all the good stuff.

The Third Suit

Here’s a story that plays off my previous post about the original Sunday Schools. In one of Scotland’s manufacturing towns, a young lady applied to the superintendent of a Sunday School and asked for a class. He advised her to get a group of poor boys together and bring them to his house. There he would give each of them a new suit of clothes. The young lady agreed, and each boy was fitted out nicely.

The worst behaving of the boys was a kid named Bob. He showed up for the first couple of Sundays, but then he dropped out. To her credit, the young woman went and found him, but by then his new clothes were torn and dirty. Nevertheless, she invited him back to school and he came. The superintendent even gave him a new suit of clothes.

But history repeated itself when, after a couple of Sundays, Bob dropped out again. Ever the persistent teacher, the young lady went out and found him again. Of course, by then he had ruined that second suit of clothes.

Utterly frustrated, the teacher went to her superintendent and told him that, regretfully, she was giving up on Bob. But the superintendent said, “Please don’t do that. I’m still hoping there is something good in the boy. Try him once more. I’ll give him a third suit if he’ll promise to attend Sunday School regularly.”

Well, Bob did promise, and he did receive that third suit. What’s more, this time Bob attended faithfully and eventually accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior. He joined the church, was made a teacher, and studied for the ministry. In the end, troubled little Bob went on to become Robert Morrison, the missionary to China who translated the Bible into the Chinese language.

Tell me, do you have a “Bob” in your life? Do you have someone you’ve been trying to help but their response has you completely frustrated and discouraged? Try them again. Sometimes a third suit is the one that makes the difference.

The Foolish Prince

A prince left the ease and safety of his father’s castle in order to seek adventure in the world. He left all his riches behind and eventually reached such a low state that he was forced to dress in rags and scrounge for food wherever he could. He lived so long that way that he ultimately even forgot that he had once been a prince.

But then came the day when his father, who had been diligently searching for him for years, found him and took him home. As the father walked the prince through the castle, the prince’s memories refired and he slowly began to reclaim the life of royalty that had once been his. To his shame, he also began to realize just how foolish he had been for ever wanting to abandon such a lifestyle for a lower one.

You say, “Boy, what a stupid story. NOBODY would be as foolish as that prince.” Friend, there are Christians out there right now who have voluntarily abandoned the royal lifestyle of walking in close fellowship with Christ and chosen to live in the squalor of sin. There are Christian husbands who are addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or pornography. There are Christian wives who are cheating on their husbands. There are Christian teenagers who are fully conforming to the world in their mindset, appearance, words, and deeds. Even the average Christian child knows far more about the latest SpongeBob SquarePants episode than he does the Bible.

So what about you? Are you a Christian? Well then, how is your lifestyle these days? Could it be that you have more in common with that foolish prince that you’d like to admit? Is your heavenly Father out looking for you, His wayward child who has broken off fellowship with Him? If that describes you in any way, please come to your senses.

Know this: The fellowship being broken off, even for a long time, doesn’t mean that the relationship has been severed, and God wants you back home with Him. He wants to take care of you and pour out His rich blessings upon you. But He can’t do that, prince, until the fellowship you once had with Him is restored. So, are you ready to get back to your castle and a higher way of living? The only person stopping you is you.

Should Women Wear Head Coverings?

For our church’s question-and-answer time, I was asked about the head coverings the apostle Paul speaks of in 1 Corinthians 11:1-16. I answered the question in church, but I feel like the Lord wants me to also devote a blog post to the subject. I’ll use ten statements to say what I need to say.

Statement #1: The main teaching of the passage has to do with the headship of the husband in the marriage, not what the women of Corinth were wearing on their heads. Yes, the Bible really does teach that the husband has the God-given role of headship in a marriage. Some people don’t like passages such as Genesis 3:16, Ephesians 5:22-24, and Colossians 3:18, but the passages themselves really aren’t all that hard to understand. And Paul doesn’t get too far into his teaching concerning head coverings before he says in verse 3, “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

Statement #2: In explaining that the man has the God-given role of headship, Paul uses Adam and Eve as an illustration. He says in verses 8 and 9, “For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.”

Statement #3: In the culture of Corinth as well as the other cities of the New Testament era, the women wore head coverings as symbols of their submission under the husbands’headship. This explains why Paul says, “For if a woman is not covered, let her also be shorn. But if it is shameful for a woman to be shaved (and it was), let her be covered.” It should be noted that these coverings were not veils that hid the womens’faces. They were, instead, shawls that left the faces exposed.

Statement #4: In encouraging the Christian women of Corinth (and by implication the Christian women of the other New Testament cities) to wear their head coverings, Paul explained that God has even built the basic idea into his physical design for men and women. In verses 14 and 15, he says, “Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him? But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering.” While there are exceptions to any rule, we have to admit that women can typically grow their hair longer than men. But please understand that Paul wasn’t saying that the Christian women of Corinth or the other cities could forego their head coverings as long as they wore their hair long. He still wanted them to wear the coverings. On another subject, I am of the opinion that these verses teach us that Jesus wore His hair much shorter than the look Hollywood usually gives Him.

Statement #5: Some of the Christian women of Corinth were breaking from the established standard of the day by refusing to wear their head coverings. Perhaps these women had heard some teaching in the same vein as Galatians 3:28, where Paul himself writes: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Of course, while this teaching is true, it certainly doesn’t obliterate the basic God-appointed roles for men and women. For example, Christian men can’t have babies!

Statement #6: The situation in Corinth was made even worse by the fact that in that city the prostitutes did not wear head coverings. In keeping with their whole mindset of rebellion against God’s way, the prostitutes also wore their hair short.

Statement #7: The praying and prophesying that Paul speaks of in verse 4 must have been taking place outside the worship services of the local churches of Corinth. I say this because for Paul to have advocated such things for those worship services would have completely contradicted what he taught in 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 and 1 Timothy 2:11-15 about women remaining silent in the church services.

Statement #8: It could have been that some of the men of Corinth had taken to actually wearing head coverings when they did their praying and prophesying. Perhaps this is why Paul says in verse 4, “Every man praying and prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head (Christ).” By the way, just think of all the professing Christian men as well as other “religious” men who still do their praying while wearing a hat, a shawl, or some other type of head covering!

Statement #9: Even though God doesn’t expect modern-day Christians to be bound by the societal standards of ancient Corinth and the other New Testament cities, we are unwise to completely ignore His basic principles concerning length of hair. Notice that Paul (who wrote under the inspiration of God) appeals to nature, not to Corinth or to New-Testament-era culture, when he says, “Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him? But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her…” The pages of the Bible are consistently clear in both the Old Testament and the New Testament that God wants men to look like men and women to look like women, and He doesn’t approve of the blurring of the lines.

Statement #10: While we should not become fanatical legalists on the issue of hairstyles, the plain fact is that many men and women (even many Christian men and women) do not take God into account when it comes to how they wear their hair. The same Paul who wrote 1 Corinthians 11:1-16 also wrote 1 Corinthians 10:31 and Colossians 3:17, two passages in which he teaches that the Christian should do EVERYTHING to the glory of God. And that certainly includes what hairstyle he or she showcases.

Wrongly Judged Anybody Lately?

Years ago a young girl sat at the counter of a diner and asked the waitress, “How much is an ice cream sundae?” “Fifty cents,” answered the waitress, without even glancing at the child. The young girl opened her fist, looked at her coins, and asked, “Then how much is a bowl of plain ice cream?” Annoyed, the waitress snapped, “Thirty-five cents.” The girl carefully counted out thirty-five cents, handed it to the waitress, and said, “I’ll take the plain ice cream.” The waitress took the money without a word and brought the ice cream. But after the little girl had eaten and left, when the waitress went to clean up the area, she was overcome by a wave of shame. There, placed neatly beside the empty bowl, were two nickels and five pennies – her tip.

It’s so easy to make snap judgments of others, isn’t it? We only have to be around someone new for a few minutes, even seconds, before we have them stereotyped and appropriately categorized in our minds. We judge on the basis of clothes, hairstyles, language skill, dialect, and the way a person carries himself or herself. We do it every day without even thinking about it. It just comes naturally to us. But what does God say about the issue? You’ll find your answer in the following verses:

1. Deuteronomy 1:16-17 (Moses speaking to the people of Israel): “Then I commanded your judges at that time, saying, ‘Hear the cases between your brethren, and judge righteously between a man and his brother or the stranger who is with him. You shall not show partiality in judgment; you shall hear the small as well as the great…”

2. Proverbs 24:23: “These things also belong to the wise: It is not good to show partiality in judgment.”

3. John 7:24 (Jesus speaking): “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.”

4. James 2:1-4: “My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality. For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, ‘You sit here in a good place,’and say to the poor man, ‘You stand there,’or ‘Sit here at my footstool,’have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?”

Let’s all confess our sin in this area and make some real progress at repenting of it. Let’s stop assessing a person’s entire history and future by way of a fifteen-second conversation or a casual look. People are more complex than we realize, and they don’t fit so neatly into the limited number of pigeon-holes we use. Showing any kind of partiality is not good, and we must start seeing it for the problem that it is in our whole approach to dealing with others.

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