Something We Could Learn From A Parrot

November 4, 2011 Leave a comment

In Queen Victoria’s Windsor Castle there was a suite of rooms that were used by her personal chaplain. A private passageway connected the chaplain’s study to the Queen’s quarters. Oftentimes she would use this passageway to consult the chaplain on important matters. Sitting in the passageway was a pet parrot in a cage.

One day, as the Queen was returning to her quarters after a consultation, the parrot spoke to her. She couldn’t make out what it said, but she knew the tone was rather rude. Curious, she asked the chaplain what the bird had said. Greatly embarrassed, he answered, “If you please, Your Majesty, I would rather not repeat it.” “But what was it?” she insisted. “Something I fear Your Majesty will not like; therefore I hope Your Majesty will excuse me from telling it.” At that point the Queen’s curiosity couldn’t be held in check. She said, “Come, I insist.” The chaplain then bowed himself and answered, “Since Your Majesty insists, the parrot said, ‘Go along, you ugly old woman!’” Upon hearing that, the Queen burst out in laughter and said, “Well, I am glad that there is at least one voice in the kingdom which is not afraid to tell me what it thinks of me.”

I once heard a preacher say, “Straight talk is easily understood.” I always liked that line. I even entitled my book Straight Talk About God’s Will. I am a firm believer that there isn’t enough straight talk in our society. We are masters at mincing words. We water down the truth to take the edge off it. We live in terror of offending someone or hurting their feelings. This has made us a nation of weaklings where everyone is sheltered from uncompromising truth, a country where being blunt is looked upon as a sin and being critical as an abomination. I’d say that we could learn something from that Windsor Castle parrot.

I have to wonder how God’s Old Testament prophets would fare in modern-day America. Take Amos for example. He called the ungodly women of the northern kingdom of Israel “cows of Bashan” (Amos 4:1). I doubt that he could build much of a congregation with such preaching today. Of course, Jesus sometimes preached in that same vein. He called the scribes and Pharisees “hypocrites” (Matthew 23:13), “blind guides” (Matthew 23:16), “fools” (Matthew 23:17), “serpents” (Matthew 23:33), and a “brood of vipers” (Matthew 23:33). That’s not exactly, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life,” is it?

I’m not saying that tact and diplomacy don’t have their place. As a matter of fact, they should be the basic rule that governs our words. My point is that we have swung so far in that direction that we’ve just about forgotten the value of straight talk. It’s hard for honest-to-goodness communication to thrive through the mountains of “fake nice” smiles we wear and words we use. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself when was the last time that you either got an honest answer or gave one to the question, “How are you today?” If anyone ever answered that question truthfully rather than give the generic response, “I’m fine,” the person who asked would be shocked!

So what do I want you to do with this post? That’s simple: use it as an incentive to be more “real” in your conversations. If there is a problem, say so. If something needs to be corrected, speak up. If a change needs to be made, don’t keep to yourself about it. Vanilla words might allow us all to remain in our comfort zones, but they will never advance God’s work in this world. Sometimes you’ve just got to tell it like it is and let Him handle the fallout.

Filed under Communication, Courage, God's Work, Honesty, Influence, Ministry, Personal, preaching, The Tongue, Witnessing Tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

The Power of a Word of Praise

September 30, 2011 Leave a comment

Benjamin West was a famous British artist in the 1700s. He also served as the president of the prestigious Royal Academy of Arts. He was especially known for his paintings of historical scenes.

West first become aware of his artistic talents on a day when his mother had him babysit his younger sister Sally. While his mother was gone, he discovered some bottles of colored ink and attempted to keep Sally amused by painting her portrait. In doing so, he made quite a mess. When his mother returned he expected to be reprimanded. Instead she deliberately looked beyond the mess, picked up the rather crude painting, smiled, and said, “Why, it’s Sally!” From that point on, she became his greatest source of encouragement concerning his talent. He would often say, “My mother’s kiss made me an artist.”

We have no idea just how much influence we can have over the lives of others. A well-timed word of praise can go such a long way in building a person’s confidence. Likewise, an ill-timed word of criticism can go such a long way in destroying that confidence. The single greatest thing that my father ever said to me was, “I’ve seen all these ballplayers around here, and you can play with any of them.” To this day I remember how that one sentence made me feel. It made me feel like I was as good a ballplayer as anyone in our county. Maybe that wasn’t true, but that didn’t stop me from feeling it.

Jay Orr was my pastor when I felt God’s call to the ministry. I will always be indebted to Jay for helping me to yield to that call and fulfill my God appointed role in life. And there was one line from Jay that especially found a home in my heart. We were sitting in his car talking, and he looked me squarely in the eye and said, “Well, you’re preacher material.” The funny thing is that I’m sure that Jay doesn’t even remember saying that to me. But I certainly remember it.

So the purpose of this post is to get you to find someone today and brag on them a little. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it, and I definitely don’t want you to lie. But chances are that you’ll cross paths with someone today who you can sincerely praise for something. Perhaps it will be your child. Perhaps it will be someone who looks up to you. All I’m saying is, whoever it is, a budding artist, ballplayer, or preacher, you just never know the lifelong impact you might make.

Filed under Children, Communication, Encouragement, Fatherhood, Influence, Motherhood, Parenting, Personal, Sports, Youth Tagged with , , , , , ,

Let Me Illustrate

September 26, 2011 2 Comments

All these things Jesus spoke to the multitude in parables, and without a parable He did not speak to them… (Matthew 13:34)

Yesterday I was once again reminded of the power of sermon illustrations. At the close of a funeral service we both attended, I talked with Geraldine, a friend whom I had given some c.d. copies of a sermon series I had preached on the life of David. Even though she had listened to several of the sermons, Geraldine had just one question to ask me about them: “Are you enjoying having Josh on your football team again this year?”

I have to say that the question caught me off guard, and I got a deer-in-the-headlights look for a moment. My mind began to race. “Josh? Josh who? And how does Geraldine even know that I’m helping coach football right now? And how could she possibly care about a little kid or youth-league football? What’s the connection that I’m missing here?”

Well, since we currently have two boys named Josh on Royce’s team, I stammered out something like, “Yes, he is.” I don’t think Geraldine could tell that I was trying to bluff my way through the conversation, but the truth was that I was still trying to get up to speed subject wise. But then she said something that made everything clear. More or less her comment was, “I thought the way you used him as an illustration was just perfect.”

Okay, now I knew exactly who and what we were talking about. In one of the David sermons, I had spent a couple of minutes talking about how “little Josh” was the best tackler on Royce’s football team even though he was one of the smallest kids on the team. Since Geraldine knew that I had preached the David sermons about a year ago, she rightly assumed that I would be helping coach Royce’s football team again this year and that Josh, being the same age as Royce, would be on the team again. Once all that clicked in my mind, I told her that, yes, Josh is on our team again, and, yes, he is still our best tackler. We both got a good laugh out of that.

As Geraldine and I exited the church and went our separate ways, I couldn’t help but be impressed by how she had remembered my Josh illustration. She hadn’t asked about a sermon title, an outline, or a finer point of some text. No, apparently the top thing that had stuck in her mind out of all my preaching was an illustration that I had used, even a personal one at that. I guess that Jesus, being the master communicator, teacher, and preacher that He was, knew exactly what He was doing when He spoke in parables.

The word “parable” comes from the Greek word parabole. Literally, the word means “a placing beside.” So a parable is a story that is placed alongside a teaching to help illustrate the teaching and make it more memorable. You see, Christ’s parables were what we would call sermon illustrations. Of course, His illustrations were of a significantly higher grade than ours’!

The book Love Worth Finding is the biography of Adrian Rogers, the great Southern Baptist preacher. His life certainly makes for an interesting read, but my favorite part of the book is its closing section, which is entitled “The Preaching Philosophy of Adrian Rogers.” Concerning the use of illustrations, Rogers says this:

One of God’s great ways of communicating spiritual truth so it is easily understood is by use of illustrations. I attempt to include an illustration with every outline point of the sermon.

Rick Warren is another noted Southern Baptist preacher. In his classic book The Purpose Driven Church, he writes:

Jesus was a master storyteller…In fact, the Bible shows that storytelling was Jesus’ favorite technique when speaking to a crowd (Matthew 13:34). Somehow preachers forgot that the Bible is essentially a book of stories. That is how God chosen to communicate his Word to human beings…Long after a pastor’s clever outline is forgotten, people will remember the stories from the sermon. It is fascinating, and sometimes comical, to watch how quickly a crowd tunes in when a speaker begins telling a story and how quickly that attention vanishes as soon as the story is finished.

Now, I realize that every Christian is not a preacher or a Bible-teacher. But I also realize that every Christian is supposed to share the gospel as well as the truth of God’s word. And how can we effectively do this sharing? Well, I don’t think there is a canned answer to that question, but surely one of the best ways is to incorporate interesting, relevant, thought-provoking illustrations into what we are saying. If Jesus, who was God in the flesh, chose to major on this way of teaching, who are we to think that we can come up with something better?

Filed under Communication, Evangelism, God's Work, Ministry, Personal, preaching, Sunday School, Teaching, Witnessing Tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

The Danger of Silence

June 27, 2011 Leave a comment

There are a lot of old legends out there, stories that did or didn’t happen. One of them is the account of the destruction of an ancient city. In those days, the cities were surrounded by walls, and watchmen kept guard atop the walls to warn if an enemy army was approaching. The watchmen of this city were particularly cautious and would sound the alarm anytime they saw something stirring in the distance. This, of course, led to many false alarms. Finally the citizens complained so much about the false alarms that the watchmen stopped sounding the alarm altogether. You can guess what happened. A real enemy army eventually stormed the city and destroyed it. Sometime later someone erected a small memorial where the city had once been. The epitaph read: “Here stood a city that was destroyed by silence.”

As Christians, we have the God-given responsibility to share God’s truth. This responsibility means that we cannot remain silent about the sin that surrounds our world and threatens to destroy it. We must speak out. We must instruct. We must warn. If we don’t play the role of watchmen, no one will.

The Legislature of the state of New York recently ruled to legalize same-sex marriages. That made New York the sixth state to do so. So should Christians stop sounding the warning that homosexuality (like adultery, premarital sex, incest, and bestiality) is sexual sin in the eyes of God? Should we just throw up our hands and say, “Oh, let’s cave in to the homosexual agenda and let them have their hearts’ desires?” Should we concede defeat and rationalize it by saying, “No one is listening to us anyway”? My answer is an emphatic, NO. True watchmen simply cannot remain silent when danger is at the door.

I’m not going to lie and say that we will win all the battles. The fact is, we may not. But if “winning” the cultural war is the only reason that we are crying out, then we are operating from the wrong motivation anyway. God hasn’t given us the mandate to “win” the war. Our mandate is simply to be responsible, diligent, effective, persevering watchmen. And no matter how much the citizens complain, that’s a duty that we must never shirk.

Filed under Adversity, Commitment, Communication, Criticism, Current Events, Doing Good, faithfulness, God's Work, Homosexuality, obedience, Persecution, perseverance, politics, Sin Tagged with , ,

How To Recite The Twenty-Third Psalm

May 24, 2011 Leave a comment

Back in the day when orators were highly esteemed, a banquet was held for such a man. Following the banquet, he was asked to recite something for the pleasure of the guests. He agreed to do so and asked if anyone in the audience had a specific request. An elderly preacher spoke up and said, “Sir, could you recite the twenty-third Psalm?”

After a moment’s pause, the orator said, “I can and I will, but after I have recited it I want you to do the same.” Surprised, the preacher said, “Well, I’m not much of an orator, but I will oblige if you wish.”

Then the orator began his recitation. He held the audience spellbound as he worked his way through the majestic lines of the beautiful Psalm. When he finished, the audience burst into a great round of applause.

When the applause finally died down, the old preacher arose and began his turn. His style was vastly different from the orator’s, much more simple and humble. But there was a strange, undeniable, uncommon power to it. When he finished, no applause broke from the audience. Instead there was a holy silence, marked only by a few tears that streamed from some faces.

At that point the orator walked over to the old preacher, put his hand on his shoulder, and summed up the scene perfectly. He said, “My friends, I reached your eyes and ears, but this man reached your hearts. I know the twenty-third Psalm, but this man knows the Shepherd.”

Filed under Belief, Bible Study, Comfort, Communication, God's Love, God's Provision, Humility, Personal Holiness, Scripture, Trusting In God, Witnessing Tagged with , , , ,

Words

February 10, 2011 Leave a comment

Kent Crockett tells the following story:

“Years ago my wife and I recorded many of our family highlights using an 8mm home movie camera. We collected years of precious memories in numerous spools of film, which became antiquated after the invention of video cameras. Some friends living in another state offered to combine all our films into one videotape. We gladly accepted their generous offer and sent them our films.

Our friends placed an 8mm home movie camera in their living room to project our movies. They also set up a VHS video camera pointed at the screen and recorded the films while the other camera’s reels turned. They sent the completed videotape to us.

Cindy and I were anxious to watch the tape of our old movies. We brought out the popcorn and inserted the video into our VCR. But that’s where the fun stopped. As we beheld our old home movie films on videotape, we also listened to our friends’ remarks. They had not realized that when they recorded our films, the video camera also taped their critical comments about us!

When the videotape began, they started making fun of us. As the film continued to roll, their comments turned vicious. With every new scene came a cutting remark or hurtful joke. Daggers entered my heart as I listened to what our friends honestly thought about us. My wife was devastated.

Our friends looked at us through judgmental glasses. Although they were cordial to our faces, the video recorded the true thoughts of their hearts.”

Do you want to read a terrifying passage? My candidate is Matthew 12:36-37, where Jesus gives us this ominous warning:

“But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

When we consider this awesome weight that words carry, not just in this life but on into the “day of judgment,” I think you’ll agree with me that our frequent prayer should be David’s from Psalm 141:3:

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

Filed under Communication, Doing Good, God's judgment, Personal Holiness, prayer, Reward, Sin, The Tongue Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Putting Out A Fire

January 15, 2011 Leave a comment

Proverbs 26:20 is a verse that has rung true since the days of Solomon, the man who wrote it under the inspiration of God. As a matter of fact, it has rung true since the days of Adam and Eve. It says:

“Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.” (New King James translation)

The New Living Translation puts the verse in even simpler terms:

“Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.”

We’ve all done it, allowed ourselves to at least temporarily become gossips and talebearers. One fairly reliable way for you to tell that you are about to gossip is if you lower your voice at the start. When you catch yourself doing that, be careful, you might be about to cross a line into territory the Bible condemns.

Where there is no talebearer, strife ceases. Quarrels disappear when gossip stops. Do you want to be a peacemaker? Then stop spreading tales about others. After all, our world is incendiary enough without you adding more wood to fires that are already burning.

Filed under Character, Communication, Influence, Personal Holiness, The Tongue Tagged with , ,

The Incredible Power of Showing Kindness

January 10, 2011 Leave a comment

Dr. Caroline Geisel of the Kellogg Sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan tells the following story:

“There came to the building where we lived and worked the cutest little pup I ever saw. We all fell in love with him. He was so anxious to show us his appreciation of our affection that he wagged his tail with such enthusiasm that his whole body wagged along with it. He was the happiest pup I ever saw. We took him into the operating room, gave him an anesthetic, and probed the bone in one of his rear legs. The marrow was a beautiful pink, filled with red corpuscles. We carefully bound up the wound, and it healed almost overnight.

Then we passed the word around that no one was to smile at the pup or speak in a kind tone of voice for six weeks. We fed him as always, but nobody petted him or showed any affection. The poor little pup just wilted. He became the most forlorn little dog I ever saw. He crept into the dark corners, and his tail dragged the ground. We took him back to the operating room and examined the marrow in the same bone. It was a dark brownish color, and the red corupscles were very scarce. It took the wound a long time to heal, despite the fact that we showered all of our pent-up affection on the little puppy. He responded very slowly to our overtunes, and it took a long, long time to get him to wag his tail again. When his enthusiasm was finally restored, we took him again to the operating room and found the marrow in the bone was pink and beautiful again.”

If you want some Bible passages to go along with this story, here are a few from the book of Proverbs:

1. Proverbs 10:11: “The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked.”

2. Proverbs 12:18: “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.

3. Proverbs 15:4:” A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

4. Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

And so, as you deal with others today, remember these verses and the story of the puppy. Show kindness and speak words of encouragement, peace, and health. Leave a room brighter than you found it. You just never know what effect you are having on someone’s marrow.

Filed under Communication, Counsel, Doing Good, The Tongue Tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

Slander

November 19, 2009 Leave a comment

Ray Donovan was the Secretary of Labor under President Reagan. His time in office was marked by a highly publicized case in which Donovan and six others were tried in New York on charges of larceny and fraud. Donovan and the six other defendants were acquitted. However, at the conclusion of the trial, Donovan pointed out a lingering problem when he famously asked, “Which office do I go to get my reputation back?”

Proverbs 22:1 says: “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches.” In light of this, let’s all guard ourselves against the sin of slander. Some of the Bible’s great characters were slanderously accused: Joseph (Genesis 39:7-20); David (2 Samuel 10:1-3); Stephen (Acts 6:8-14); Paul (Acts 24:5-6); and, of course, Jesus (Matthew 11:19, Matthew 26:59-68). Even though these men were all innocent of the accusations leveled against them, much damage was done to their reputations.

God’s word certainly allows for the proper prosecution of criminals. It also allows for legitimate criticism. What I’m saying is that we must be careful when we enter into this mine-field. Once a person’s reputation is destroyed, there is no office where he or she can reclaim it. Proverbs 11:9 says: “The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor.” You see, there is incredible power in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21; James 3:1-12). So make sure that you use yours discreetly and truthfully.

Filed under Character, Communication, Doing Good, Holiness, Influence, Personal Holiness, The Tongue Tagged with , , , , ,

What About Communication In Marriage?

September 3, 2009 1 Comment

It’s been said that problems in a marriage don’t become catastrophic until the couple can’t talk about them. It’s also been said that the most frightening sound in marriage is silence. The Bible certainly gives us many verses that pertain to communication. Consider these:

-Psalm 34:13: “Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.”

-Psalm 141:3: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

-Proverbs 10:11: “The mouth of the righteous is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked.”

-Proverbs 10:21: “The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of wisdom.”

-Proverbs 12:18: “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.”

-Proverbs 13:3: “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.”

-Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

-Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

-Proverbs 21:23: “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.”

-Proverbs 25:11: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

-James 3:6: “And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.”

-1 Peter 3:10: ”He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips fromspeaking deceit.”

I’ve read that there are five levels of communication in marriage. As I name these five, see which one best describes your marriage:

#1: the frivolous level: This kind of communication centers around small talk about the weather, clothes, the neighbors, etc. It’s just chit chat that has no depth whatsoever. A husband says, “It’s cold out there today.” His wife says, “Yes, it’s supposed to be warmer tomorrow.”

#2: the factual level: This kind of communication involves the reporting of facts without emotion. A wife says, “I saw that a state trooper had someone pulled over today.” Or a husband says, “The Thompsons bought a new grill.” The factual level is little more than a notch above the frivolous level. 

#3: the fellowship level: At this level, married couples talk about ideas and philosophies. A wife says, ” Some people strongly believe that our nation should never go to war.” Her husband responds, “Yes, Linda at work holds that opinion, but Charlie is always arguing with her that wars sometimes have to be fought to ensure the greater good.” You see, neither spouse has staked out a position, but the topic is bigger than anything from the previous two levels. 

#4: the feeling level: Here spouses really open up and speak in very personal ways. The wife says, “Well, I agree with Linda. Our nation has seen enough war. We need to try pacificism a while.” But the husband responds, “No, Charlie makes the better argument and I’m with him on this issue.” Each spouse has now opened himself or herself up to potential criticism and rejection.

#5: the freedom level: At this highest level of communication neither spouse holds anything back. Every hope, dream, fear, opinion, belief, etc. is out there on display. There is no worry about being judged, put down, or rejected. Even if one spouse doesn’t agree with the other, there is unconditional love and acceptance.

Always keep in mind that intimidation through temper is not good communication. Taking a superior, arrogant tone and belittling your spouse is not good communication. Out-yelling your spouse is not good communication. Out-talking your spouse is not good communication. Guilt trips created by crocodile tears is not good communication. If you are in the habit of wielding any of these weapons when you talk to your spouse, STOP IT. You are killing any chance that your marriage has at reaching the freedom level, that highest level of communication. For that matter, you might very well be killing your marriage. 

And here’s one last thought: Communication cannot occur until someone is ready to listen. If your idea of communicating is getting the floor and holding it, you’re half a person. James 1:19 says: “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” Tell me, how fast are you at hearing? The faster you are, the better you will be at communication.

Believe me, many a marriage can be shored up, made better, or even saved if one spouse will just look at the other and say, “I have dominated the communication around here for a long time. So right now I’m going to just sit here and listen to anything you want to tell me. I promise not to get mad, defensive, or defiant. I’m genuinely interested in what’s on your mind these days.” Maybe you are one that needs to give this little exercise a try. You’ll probably be surprised at what you hear, and I guarantee you that your marriage communication will be taken to a higher level.

Filed under Communication, Husbands, Marriage, Wives Tagged with , , ,

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